A little look into Christmas with the Newsome's...

Here are some pictures of my family from Christmas Eve, day and the days that have followed. I am a little late on posting all these, I kept starting posts and not finishing them. Sorry! There will be a lot in the next few days! We have had a blast being together:)

I am home for the holidays:)

Yesterday I was listening to that song, "I'll be home for Christmas" and it says, "if only in my dreams.." and at this point I was sitting in the Chicago Midway Airport...and my flight had already been delayed & I thought to myself, "I will NOT be happy if this is only in my dreams..." Good thing I made it hope safely by 8pm EST and was greated by my lovely family. Then we went to my favorite pizza place, Mellow Mushroom:)

Today I got to sleep in and then enjoy a morning with my sister, lunch at the oh so yummy Char-grill and now I am relaxing until I leave to go see some of my girlfriends! I will post more about that later.

I miss my CCH kids, and I keep sharing stories about them, but I am glad to be with my family and friends that I am so blessed to have:)

Rain stick Reflections

The other day we had our office Christmas get together. Our VP asked us to sit in a circle and close our eyes. She had this rain stick that she had just got as a present and so she started to let the rain stick go back and forth. Then she started to ask us to reflect on certain questions (and I am paraphrasing what she asked). She asked...

What happened in 2008 that you are glad is over?

What brought you joy in 2008?

What are you going to leave behind from 2008?

What are you looking forward to in 2009?

What do you want 2009 to be filled with?

This really was a wonderful thing for me to do, I felt like I had not really reflected on this past year. Let me tell you, A LOT happened in 2008...for starters I student taught, graduated from college, became a missionary, spent 3 weeks in NYC and met some of my best friends and partners in ministry, I moved to Urbana, Illinois, and I started my 1st real job:) Talk about CHANGE. This has been a year of intense Change...I think I should have a theme song for my life...instead of Seasons of Love, it should be Season of Change (of course there is love in the midst of all the change as well). This all got me thinking a lot.

I am going to compare my life over the past year to the season of Advent...and maybe I am just over consumed with talk of Advent after writing an advent devotional and teaching the kids about it, but I think its relevant and I love metaphors. So I feel like 2008 was a time of waiting for me. It took a lot out of me, I had to wait actively, not passively. I had to struggle to not let the busyness consume me. I had to keep my focus on the coming of Christ into my life. Advent is meant to be a time of preparation for the coming of Christ. I feel like for the 1st half of 2008 I spent time preparing myself for what God had in store for me. Most of the time I did not know what I was preparing for, but I knew there was something great out there for me to do.

This is where I can kind of relate to Mary, yes I can relate to the Mother of Jesus. An angel comes to a teenage girl, in fact probably a middle schooler, (like my dad says, Jesus' Mama was a middle schooler). The Angel tells her she is going to give birth to the Messiah. Mary, a middle schooler, the most unlikely person, is being called to be the mother of Jesus our Messiah our Savior. I felt like Mary this year because I felt God call me to something greater than myself, I felt completely unqualified and unequipped to be a missionary, yet he still called me. He had something in store for me that I could not even imagine back in the early days of 2008. God sent me on a journey similar to Joseph and Mary's journey to Bethlehem. The journey was hard at times, I had to stop and rest a lot, but I knew I must continue on the journey. The journey led to being a missionary at Cunningham Children's home, in of all places, Urbana, Illinois. God has a sense of humor...a manger for Jesus, and a home for kids with severe behavior and emotional issues for me. (if you don't find the humor in this...read below)

While I was student teaching, my one really hard experience was one day when one of our kids tried to punch another kid over a game of jeopardy and then proceed to threaten me, corner me against the wall, and then try to punch my teacher...it was the day I left for my interview in NYC for the US-2 Missionary position...ironic yes...God's plan, no doubt!

But my journey did lead to Urbana to CCH, and I am not going to equate it with the birth of Jesus, because you just can't compare to that. But I will say that my bright star landed over CCH. This was the best place for me to be, God has equipped me daily to get through it all, even the days that get so hard, he shows me joy through a kids action and I make it through.

My heart has broken for these kids. As I went around with Santa the other night from unit to unit, after working a ridiculous amount of hours of the last few weeks, the kids sat on Santa's lap and asked for Love, their parents back, to smile again...etc.. they admitted that had been bad but were trying to turn it around. This Santa was amazing, the kids talked to him like in some ways he was God. It was like seeing the kids sitting on God's lap telling them their struggles and just wanting to be loved. I teared up, and I thought back to earlier that day with the rain stick reflections & thought...2008 was definitely about change, but those changes led me here, and I can't wait to start 2009 working with these kids for another year.

In the midst of writing this reflection I was listening to this song by Melissa Ethridge and I think it fits well, it's called Light a Light...but I think it could be called "Season of Change" too. I love how it talks about heaven is on the inside and not just above...and how we should choose love. I have changed this year, and I have choose to love these kids with all I have in me. And yesterday we lit a candle for each kids at Cunningham, and a 3 wick candle for all the kids in the past, all the one in the present, and all the kids that will come to CCH in the future. So enjoy these lyrics.

'Tis the season of change
Seasons are the contrast
The key to life and how its done
It's time to let go of our past
And let go of whats to come

write down your excuses
and turn them into dust
plant the seeds of change
water it with trust

Light a light tonight
we light a light
Light a light tonight
we light a light

Now that this time is ending
and everyone is here

We light a light a light this year
'Tis the season of change

What do we have, what do we have not
what do we need that isn't here
this mindless numb consuming
is driven by a sudden fear

It's time we stop believing
that there will not be enough
I know they said it on the TV
so turn it off, break the chains
step outside and feel the love

we light a light tonight
we light a light
Now that this time is ending
everyone is here
we light a light a light
this year
'Tis the season of Change
of Change

We must change
Heaven is inside
it's all around not just above
choose only love
Heaven is inside
it's all around not just above
choose only love
choose only love
choose only love

Camille the Camel

I am really too tired and sick to write much with this post, but I wanted to post a few pictures from my Walk Through Bethlehem. These are pictures of our "camel" we got that we named Camille. The girls in the picture with me are Ann, Kristen and Caci who are in my Grad Bible Study. Everything went great and I am so glad the kids loved it. Now for me to get better...

Pre- Walk Through Bethlehem

Today is a big day in the life of Cunningham...we will be putting on our 2nd Annual Walk Through Bethlehem. Now some of you might have participated in this sort of thing before, but others night not have. So basically it is a time to take a look at the town of Bethlehem and see where Jesus was born. We have a "somewhat" live nativity (no real animals sadly), you eat at the "Bethlehem Inn" , everyone dresses as people from that time period, we have a camel (its a costume), there are crafts, you have shekels to use as money...it's supposed to be really fun for kids. So anyways we are having around 30 volunteers show up at 4 to help pull this off...we have spent countless hours preparing crafts, snacks, food, getting volunteers, and setting up. Honestly since about my 3rd week here we have been preparing in some way for this. So I just pray it goes well and the kids love it:) Included are pictures of all the crafts...tonight or tomorrow I will post some pictures from the event (sadly not of the kids though).

Thanksgiving pics

Here is a look into my Thanksgiving here in Illinois. It was my first Thanksgiving EVER without my lovely family. It was hard at first and I shed a few tears, but I made it through. Luckily I have an amazing "Illinois Family"...my boss, Gay and her husband, Dan, and their son Caleb have become my adopted family. I love them so much and they have been a great joy in my life the last 3 months. I went to thanksgiving with them at Dan's sister's house in Mason City, Illinois. There is really just cornfields and farm country throughout Illinois and this place exemplified that well. After our meal we watched Elf and then took a walk through the country, saw some silos, and some horses! Overall it was the best Thanksgiving could be with out being with you own family:)

Snow and a Season of Waiting

Today I woke up at 6 to finish this Advent Devotional Book for the kids I work with. I was really exhausted and stressed to get it finished. Yet when I walked outside this morning it was a Winter Wonderland outside:) As you can see from the pictures we had about 3 inches and we are supposed to get another 1-3 tonight. I put on my MP3 player and listened to Christmas music as I trekked across the snow to work so I could print and make copies of the devotional books. On my venture across the snow I fell twice, I really can't stand on anything and then add snow!

The kids really loved the devotionals, especially because they got a CD along with it. In my group today I taught about Advent and how it is a season of waiting, but we must actively wait for the coming of Christ. Below is the devotional for today that I wrote, some of you might have already read this. But if you haven't here you go...

November 30th

Today is the first Sunday of Advent. Advent means coming or arrival. For Christians Advent is a time when we patiently prepare for the coming of Jesus. During Advent we remember how people watched and waited for God to come to earth as Jesus. Also we watch and wait for God to come and work in our world and in our lives.

The Advent wreath is a symbol some Christians use during this season to help prepare for Jesus to come. Each Sunday a different candle is lit to represent the coming of Christ.

Today we light the first Advent candle, prepare your heart by reading this:

We light the first candle of the Advent wreath to remind ourselves to stay awake and watch for signs of God at work in our world. This is a season of actively waiting, so God please help me to find ways I can prepare myself for this season of Advent.

I could use a little help

If you have already read my e-mail, then you can ignore my blog post. If not PLEASE READ!!!

I am in desperate need of help from ANY of you that can spare a few minutes of your time to do something for me. I am attempting to write my own little Advent devotional book for our kids here at Cunningham Children's Home. It's amazing how hard it is to find curriculum and devotionals that work for our kids. But I had this idea today as I was planning my lesson for sunday on Advent. The ONE thing they ALL love is MUSIC!!! So I decided that I am going to make them a mixed CD of all kinds of Christmas songs, a mixture of hymns and other songs about Christmas. I want to emphasize that Advent is a season of waiting, and not passive waiting but ACTIVE waiting. So I wanted to make a devotional that goes along with the CD...and that is where I need your help. I would love to have little notes from people throughout talking about how you celebrate Advent and how you prepare your hearts for the coming of Jesus each year. You can do this through writing about your favorite christmas song, a tradition you have during Advent, what you need to work on this year during advent, or how music adds to your advent season. This does not need to be long...just a paragraph or 2. Here are some of the hymns and songs I know I am using so far:

O Holy Night
O Come O Come Emmanuel
Emmanuel by Alathea
Breath of Heaven by Amy Grant
Come Thou Long Expected Jesus
O Come All Ye Faithful
The First Noel
O Little Town of Bethlehem
Glorious by Melissa Etheridge
Silent Night
Light of the Stable by Emmylou Harris

You can use any other songs too! If you could get this to me BEFORE Sunday Nov. 30th that would be AMAZING. If you can't get it by then I will still take it up to the 5th of Dec. But I REALLY could use as many as I can before sunday. I know this is like the worst time ever to be asking for something but if ANY of you get a few minutes this would be SOOO helpful to me and I know my kids will appreciate it sooo much! Heck I'll even send you a copy! I love you all!

God Bless and Happy Thanksgiving!!!

A reflective walk...

Last night at my grad bible study we spent time in prayer and walked a labyrinth. I must admit that all day yesterday I was kind of dreading it. It was freezing outside and I had to ride the bus down to the church + I was completely exhausted because I didn't really sleep the night before. Yet once I got there I realized I really needed that time last night to reflect. So here is sort of a re-cap of what when through my head as I walked the Labyrinth:

I set off putting one foot in front of the other saying, "peace with each new step", this is something Suzanne had taught us at US-2 training and I thought it would be a good way to get focused. After a little bit I started saying, "listen, listen, listen to my heartsong, listen listen listen to my heartsong, I will never forget you I will never forake you..." also a chant we learned at training. I started to realize that the last time I had walked a labyrinth with a group was when I was at US-2 Training in NYC. We were in Queens on the hottest day of the summer in the lovely humidity of NYC (a little bit different weather situation than last night). It was before my journey here in Urbana even began. From there my mind just started flowing with considering my journey over the last few months since arriving in Urbana.

I thought back to that day in Queens, and as the sweat was dripping down my face, I looked up and saw all my fellow US-2's, my wonderful friends, my beloved community. They were walking right beside me on that same journey, even though our journeys were slightly different. As I drifted back into the present, I started to pray for each one of my US-2's...I prayed for Sarah out in Utah as she saves the world by helping fight for injustices with the homeless and poor, I prayed for Fawn in Alaska as she braves the fridgid temps and shares her love with the natives there, I prayed for Bonnie in Alabama as she works in nature to give food to people whom so desperately need it, I prayed for Elyse down in Atlanta as she works with the homeless and struggles through making sense of it all, I prayed for Carolyn up in Wisconsin as she works with women in transition and children and I can relate so much to how hard that can be, I prayed for Meg in Chicago as she works to help make people aware of workers rights and the injustices that go along with working, I prayed for Krista in Detroit as she works with the homeless and congregations to bring them together and have churches support her ministry, I prayed for Greg in Baltimore as he works throughout the community to spread love and build community. I prayed that each US-2 will feel the connection of our community, as we did on that hot day in Queens. That even though we are so far apart now, that we can somehow feel each others presence.

I opened my eyes and even for just a brief second I kinda saw each one of my US-2 family around that labyrinth and felt their presence. As their images faded away I saw new images, they were of my new friends here in Urbana. I prayed for Erin, Anthony, Josh, Kristen and Imy, and then I prayed for the ones that were not there, for Laura, Caci, Alan, Michael, Eric, and Anne. I thanked God for blessing me with all of these wonderful people in my life.

As I entered into the center of the labyrinth I sat down and I prayed over and over again, Thank you Lord for your Blessings. As I left the center and headed towards the exit path of the labyrinth I thought about how wonderful it is to be in this new place and how exciting the future can be, instead of being fearful. I asked God to bless me on the journey that is to come, thanked him for the journey that has already taken place, and asked him to keep everyone safe on their future journey.

It was a much needed time of reflection.

New Books & thoughts...

Here are 2 new books I am reading, thanks to my dad for giving them to me! One is, Jesus wants to Save the Christians: A Manifesto for The Church in Exile by Rob Bell and the second one is, Becoming the Answer to our Prayers - Prayer for Ordinary Radicals by Shane Claiborne and Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove. I am reading both of them at the same time because I couldn't decide when one I wanted to read first. The prayer one helped me decide on a lesson for the kids today on prayer, and we focused on the scripture where Jesus teaches the disciples how to pray. I really liked this excerpt from the book:

"But the most important thing about the prayer Jesus teaches may be that it invite us into new option. We don't have to give into greed or work as if everything depends on us. When the option are "get rich" or "save the world" we can respond with I want to become part of the people who ask for God' kingdom to come in their life together." We can find out identity not in our work or our causes, but in "Our Father in heaven."

The Rob Bell book I am just now getting into but I really like it so far. I love the titles he has for his chapters it cracks me up. Here is what the back cover of this book says,

"It's a book about faith and fear, wealth and war, poverty, power, safety, terror, Bibles, bombs, and homeland insecurity; it's about empty empires and the truth that everybody's priest, it's about oppression, occupation, and what happens when Christians support, animate, and participate in the very things Jesus came to set people free from. It's about what it means to be apart of the church of Jesus in a world where ome people fly planes into building while others pick up groceries in Hummers."

Gracious what a book...So I will try to write some posts on my feelings on these books as I read them.

Lego Plane + Silly String + Water Guns = Ending the War in Iraq Cunningham Kids Style

I wanted to share a story with you. On the night before the historic election I was reading to the kids the other night and after reading a book about the Election, called "Duck for President", one of our kids informed me of something...So here is how 2 kids at Cunningham are going to End the War in Iraq!

After reading the book, L, said,
"Brooke, I just don't think John McCain or Barack Obama have a good plan to end the war in Iraq",

I replied with, "Well I don't really think they do either, but no one seems to be giving any better ideas, sadly"

L said, "Actually, R and I have a wonderful plan to end the war, do you want to hear it?"

Excitedly I said, "Of course I do, please tell me!"

L went on to say, "Well, first off we have been building this Lego plane, and so our plan is to invent a laser that will super-size the plane and allow us to fly it over Iraq. Once we are there people will look up into the air and be so amazed to see a plane made out of Lego's that they will not shoot us down. Then, we will drop cans of Silly String from the sky, and it will fall at such a fast rate that when they hit the ground, they will explode all over the people and homes. Everyone will begin to laugh and smile, because everyone loves silly string, and it just makes you silly. After that everyone will need to be cleaned off because there will be so much silly string. So we will then drop water guns from our Lego plane and everyone will shoot each other with water guns instead of real guns. Everyone, both Iraqi and American will laugh so much that they forget there is a war and there will finally be peace throughout the land. So that is how I will end the war in Iraq when I L, become President of the United States of America and my running mate, R, will be the Vice President...but we have to wait until I am 35."

I was in complete amazement and filled with so much joy from his story, I said, "L that was wonderful, I really think that is much better than any other plan I have heard! You should become president!"

He then said, "Well maybe we should write our Congressmen or President first"

So that is how 2 creative kids at Cunningham are going to End the War in Iraq. I am so glad I work with these kids each day.

New Colors in our Chapel

I will post more tomorrow, I am working on a long entry but I promised my mom I would post these pictures of our new wall-hangings in our Chapel. They are mandala's and celtic knots that the kids made. The explanation is in a previous post. They bring so much color into the Chapel and it excites me to see new colors. Our board loved them at the annual meeting this past week. Enjoy! And I will write tomorrow:)

Out of Many We Are One

"Out of many we are ONE."

Thank you Barack Obama, our next President of the United States, for reminding us of just that. I am very proud of my country right now.

If you disagree and are angry with the election, I am sorry, but I am going to bask in this historical moment for awhile.

My friend Meg is in Grant Park right now and I am very jealous. I will be at the inauguration, mark my word!

Halloween

My little sister Amie is sooo creative:) Look at her awesome Halloween Costume! She is a diet coke can, it was all her idea too! I miss her!!!

I haven't written in awhile, but that does not mean there hasn't been a lot going on. Actually, I have been very busy with all kinds of stuff both at work and in my social life. I just started leading more groups at work, so every afternoon is packed with those. It's nice to have more one on one or small group time with the kids so I am enjoying that. I have to work really hard in the morning to get everything done before the afternoon comes but it's nice to be busy.

Last night, we had a going away party for one of our kids, T, who is moving into our foster care program. It was sad, because I have gotten to know her and will miss her. Last night she walked the labyrinth at our Chapel service and it was really meaningful. I even teared up. It is a wonderful idea to have our kid do this before they leave, because all the kids and staff surround the labyrinth and hold candles and the child leaving enters the labyrinth and we talk about their journey while they are here. Then when they arrive in the center, we hold our candles towards the child and say a prayer to bless them on their new journey once they leave Cunningham. Then they walk the labyrinth in reverse to begin their new journey. It' really a beautiful moment to witness.

Today, I attempted to go and vote early but it was going to be a 3 hour wait...so I decided I would vote on Election Day instead. But I am so glad lots of people are going out to vote!

Also today we had a Halloween party for Cunningham kids and it was so much fun! I dressed up as the "Wicked Witch of the West". The kids had amazing outfits and just had me laughing the whole time. Today made me realize just how much I love my job. This weekend I will have more time to reflect further!

In the midst of being sick, there was still so much joy

So I have been pretty sick since I got home from Chicago on Sunday. It started out as just a sore throat and a cough and has progressed into a fever, migraine, chest congestion and worse sore throat/cough, along with an upset stomach. I have barely eaten anything, which definitely is a sign I am sick! It has been hard to focus at work and after an extremely exhausting Wednesday, my boss called this morning to see how I was, and we both decided that just grabbing my stuff from work and heading back home was the best thing to do. So I worked a little this afternoon, and slept a lot as well. I am feeling a little better but we will see what tomorrow brings. I am supposed to go camping tomorrow-sunday morning and I REALLY want to go, but I can't if I am still sick like this.

Oh a more joyful note...I have some sweet things to share from work. First off here are some reflections on the Mandala's our kids made in art class. Here is some background on Mandala's + some reflections from the kids:)

Mandala simply means a circle. They are ancient symbols representing the whole world or the life cycle and first appeared in Asia. Celtic Spirals also represent the whole world or the life cycle and appeared all over Europe beginning around the 5th century BC. Some believe that both symbols represent the movement of the spirit through different experiences: spinning into the center of the world and then catapulting out again to journey on a different path.

These are some of the things the kids said about the knots:

“The knots represent love, passion, loyalty and tender care.” 11 year old boy

“Think about it – the knotted dragons represent the 2 sides of each of us. We may be tangled up in knots and ugly on the outside, but beautiful on the inside. And every body has a heart.” 14 year old boy.

“We may have things that hold us back, but we are still beautiful” 15 year old girl

When we were working on the paintings one of my students said they were all like the Circle of Courage (our model for our agency, it is adapted from a Native American child rearing practice, you can see more on our website)

This is how she explained it:

Belonging – because we worked on them together.

Mastery – because we finished all of them.

Independence – because we came up with our own ideas.

Generosity – because we are giving them to put up on campus so everyone can see them.

I just love the things they say:) Also our chapel service last night went great, our theme was, "Take a walk in someone else's shoes"...I will write more on that later!

Chicago Bound:)

I leave for Chicago in the morning on Amtrak:) I am so excited to see my good friends Ashley and Trish that I worked with/lived with in Philly 2 summers ago. We have all been anxiously awaiting this little vacation for awhile now and I can't believe it is finally here! We are going to go see the So You Think You Can Dance Show of the top contestants from this season on Friday night, traveling around the city on Saturday, and then we all leave Sunday afternoon/night. We all love So You Think You Can Dance and are huge fans, especially of Twitch and Joshua. I will post pictures and write more about my trip when I get home on Sunday night!

Be The Change...again

I am going to babble for a few moments here as I write this..I guess I have to stay true to my nickname/blog title. I have been re-reading Be the Change by Zach Hunter. I love this book because it was written by a 15 year old and it just good for everyone to read to wake them up to the injustices going on around them. I have been reading it because one of our kids wants to share in Chapel in 2 weeks about some populations that are dealing with injustice. Her father was just deported a few weeks ago so one main thing on her mind is immigration, but also child slave labor, child soldiers, and other kids that have been abused like the kids here. Her theme is "Take a Walk in My Shoes". To see a kid who has been through so much pain and suffering want to share with other kids who have been through pain as well about injustices going on with others just makes me realize even more that we must become like a child and LISTEN TO THE KIDS! They know what they are talking about. It further makes me realize why God wants me to be here. I am supposed to bring a voice to the marginalized population of children and youth, especially children and youth that have been cast out by society and hurt by society as well.

Back to the book. There is a section that discusses the "social gospel" and how many people are afraid of that term. He brings up the fact that many people don't want to call it the social gospel because then they would have to admit that being a christian is about more than just being holy but also about serving the poor and bringing justice to God's kindom. He says that he doesn't understand why everyone is arguing because and I quote,

"Compassion is an overflow of the gospel - The Good News of Christ's sacrifice. Compassion says we have embraced the relationship with God through Christ. It's not that we have to earn our salvation by doing good things, but compassion and service flow out of us because we are filled with God's love. If we don't take care of orphans and widows, if we don't care for the poor and hurting, how can we say we belong to Jesus?"

I read this at a perfect time today as I was struggling with thinking through all my interactions with kids this week. It was a rough week. The Chaplain was gone to a conference and I was on my own and of course lots of unexpected things came up. I got stressed for about the first time since I have been here and I know it did not help some interactions I had with kids. I became very self-aware of that yesterday and realized I just will not be able to do everything this week, and that is going to have to be ok. My "honeymoon" period with the kids is starting to wear off and some kids are getting mad at me for things. But in many ways its showing that they appreciate that I will put up with them and love them unconditionally. They just have to test that to see if I will keep following through. This is an extremely challenging population to work with and I am realizing that more each and every day. It doesn't make me want to stop by any means, it just makes me want to forge ahead but also make sure I am aware of myself and take time to reflect and re-evaluate.

I had some 1st time experiences this week that scared me a little or just rocked me. (A friend of mine commented recently that all my blog entries are "happy"..well here is one that isn't so much). I tell you these stories because I want you to know about my experiences, not to scare you, not to make you have pity on me or these kids, I just want you to realize how much I love them and how much we all need to fight for justice for them.

This week, I had a kid tell me he wanted to kill himself and then proceed to try to drink a bottle of soap. Then the same kid tried to strangle another kid with a phone cord. Another kid tried to break a window for 30 minutes straight with his fists. A few kids told me they hated me and hoped I died. They tested me all week. It was hard I'm not going to lie...there were times I wanted to run away and cry. But somehow I gained the strength I needed to get through those times and still love those kids unconditionally.

These kids are the modern day "orphans". We MUST love them unconditionally. We MUST or we need to seriously consider if we truly can say we belong to Jesus. We MUST care for the hurting, because they are ALL AROUND us. You might not have 60+ kids with mental, emotional and behavioral problems. But I bet you have someone in your workplace, group of friends, school, or family that is hurting. I am sure you have people in your community that are hurting. I am sure there are many marginalized communities you can work with to help bring about justice for them. I urge you to consider each day if you are being mindful or talking to someone that is hurting, where you can say I belong to Jesus and truly feel right about saying it.

I am saying all this to reflect on my week, to tell myself I need to do all these things. Things are not always easy, and I am pretty sure after work today I am probably going to have a little bit of a crying party to just get out my emotions of the week. But when I take a step back and look at it all...I am just learning to love these kids unconditionally and that is not something you just pick up on quickly...it's a process.

Mandala's & Advice Trees

Our kids are making Mandala's in art class and are going to make them into a quilt to hang in our chapel! They are gorgeous and I can't wait to see the final product...and the kids really enjoyed making them. It reminded me of the night during my US-2 training that we created Mandala's. Ours were all different, yet somehow they would have made a beautiful quilt as well.

My lesson today for the kids in the 2 younger units went really well. I will take a picture of what we did and put it up tomorrow. We were talking about King Solomon and how he was the wisest king. We made an "Advice" tree and the kids wrote on different leaves people that had given them good advice. Then as they came to put the leaves up they shared why that person gave them good advice and if they listened to that advice. It was actually really moving to hear the kids process through what good advice is. I think the staff were moved by it to, as many of the kids picked the staff as people who had given them good advice. Now the 2 advice tree's are hanging outside of my office on the bulletin board which desperately needed to be re-done and now we have 2 lovely fall like trees on it!

As I was figuring out my lesson for today I stopped to pause and think about people who have given me good advice throughout the years. I realized I probably never said thank you to all of them. I am so lucky that I have a family and friends that give me good advice. So here was some of the advice (paraphrased a little bit)...This would be MY ADVICE TREE:

My dad: To smile and have fun, not to take myself too seriously (as I was about to embark on training this summer, Philly, and REACH)

I wish I could remember his exact words...but when I didn't get Teach for America, he told me something and it calmed me down. Then he helped me find another option for life after college...funny thing, it was the US-2 program. Thanks dad!

After Kevin broke up with me Sophmore year...my dad told me that I had to, "Go Cold Turkey"...don't speak to him for a month. Best advice anyone could have given me. I did and sure enough a month later I was like a whole new person, was going on a mission trip to the Gulf Coast and it was like my life started over. It's funny looking back because I sure didn't listen to his previous advice with kevin.

My mom: "What a great experience to have at your age, soak it all up" (a recent letter from my mom) (mom you always give me tons of advice and are always there to listen to me everyday and I am forever greatful...dad just says less so I remember them more vividly!)

Eleanor Roosevelt: "Do one thing every day that scares you" (well she didn't really give me this advice obviously but I really like the advice!)

Greg: "Rock Urbana's World! Love the children and teens/youngsters fiercely. Feel the flow" (letter to me telling me he was my US-2 prayer partner)

Other people whom always give good advice...

Sally - my dear friend since we were like 5!
Katey B - I love you and always need to hear your perspective since you know me so well
Brittany K - thank goodness you were my roommate last year I always needed you to listen.
Megan M - oh how many conversations have we had where you helped me!
Trish - you are full of wisdom and sometimes I just don't know what I would do without you!
Elyse - I am so glad we are friends because I always need to hear your p.o.v.
Nanee - Let's just say I have a wonderful grandma that always gives good advice!
Sarah S - thank you for being my accountability partner, gracious knows I need to hear your opinion especially tuesday nights hehe!
Sarah M - you tell it like it is and I am so glad you do!
Meg K - US-2 accountability partner, glad I can talk with you about stuff and ask the odd questions!
Kelly M - always giving such uplifting encouragement and also just calling me out! love it!
Jessica L - I mean seriously how can I even describe my love for you and your advice!
Kara B - always is my partner in crime in discussing all of our wonderful plans of saving the world..

And I could go on and on all night. I love you all and am forever greatful for my friends and family whom give me a wealth of wise advice! What would I do with out you all????

A new season...my favorite season

Sorry I haven't written in awhile, I have just been really busy with lots of stuff at work and also am starting to enjoy a social life as well! It is funny how I will be preparing a lesson for the kids and then I end up learning so much from the lesson and kids as well. It is an awesome experience! I was planning a lesson about "Seasons" last week for our older youth. I was having a hard time picking a lesson and then I came upon one about Seasons and thought it was perfect timing since it just turned to fall. I had the kids draw things the represented their favorite seasons and the pictures cracked me up! A lot of the kids favorite season was fall, which suprised me because I thought they would have said Summer or even winter because of the snow. But no Fall was the season of choice.

Well if you know me at all Fall is my FAVORITE season, I love it and I am always the happiest in the fall. I love to see the leaves change, the air gets cool, it's perfect hiking and camping weather, sweatshirts, jeans, and boots are normal attire...basically it is just glorious! I just love to feel the summer being blown away into fall. Fall also appeals to me because it represents a lot of change. The leaves change colors, they fall off the trees, and everything prepares for the coming winter. I think that might be why these kids picked fall as their favorite season (minus the fact there is halloween and they can jump in the leaves)...but also because it kind of represents a time of change, where we shed off the past of previous seasons slowly and then are given the opportunity to be still and collect ourselves in the winter. These kids have been through a lot, and they just want to start over in many ways...not forget the past but be able to forgive whom they need to and just move on. I think fall brings hope that, that can become a reality.

There was my deep message haha. Now for some excitements I have for this Fall season...

1. I am going to Chicago Oct. 17-19 to visit with my friends that I worked/lived with in Philly last summer!! We are going to see the So You Think You Can Dance Show and tour the city! It will be nice to see some friends:)

2. I am going Camping the 2nd to last weekend in Oct. with some friends from my Grad Bible Study! I am really excited, because I LOVE camping and thought I wasn't going to be able to go this year.

3. Spending the fall with some amazing kids and staff here at Cunningham:)

And some prayers...

*We have some kids leaving soon, and they just happen to be some kids I have gotten to know really well. I am going to miss them, but I just ask for prayers that they will be sent to good foster homes and be able to succeed after this program.

*That I will find the right balance in the midst of all of the newness of a new job, a new town, new friends, etc...

Thank you all for your support, and I pray that your Fall season will give you each a time to shed off some of the past to prepare for what God has instore for your future.

This Little Light of Mine, I'm gonna let it shine!

This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine...

Oh Tuesday I was coming back from a day full of training and I grabbed my stuff from the office and was headed out to go home, when I heard some singing. One of our kids had come up to the Chapel to let out some steam through singing. Already 2 other staff had joined in on the singing. He saw me at the door and told me I had to come in and start singing as well. After a few minutes we had the whole Public Relations department in the chapel singing "This little light of mine". He had us make up different verses and it was hilarious. I haven't seen our staff that happy in a long time. He wanted us to close with sharing our favorite scripture and then praying together. It was simply adorable, and a complete "God moment". I wish you could have all been there to hear him sing and see us, it was really funny and wonderful. That's all I just wanted to share that with yall!

The Windy City

I just wanted to write a quick note. I loved my trip to Chicago! It was great to see a familiar face and have some time to chat and process the last month with another US-2. I know I needed it and I think Meg did too. We walked a lot over the 2 days I was there and I am worn out! But we did get to see a lot of the city and now when others come to visit (HINT HINT) I will know where to take people!

This is one place to the left that we went that is in Millennium Park. People call it "the bean" or the "cloud gate" it is all stainless steel and if you go underneath it you get to see this...it's pretty sweet, and there are
Meg and I waving!!! It is sadly one of
our only pictures together!

We ate lots of ethnic food...thai, mexican, and american diner. She lives in a really cool Co-op community house and I enjoyed staying there. I will post some more pictures from the trip later. But for now I am completely exhausted and need to get some sleep before another crazy week begins!

Thank you all for reading my blog!
Come visit me and we can go to Chicago!

Cornfield sunsets & lots of joy

These are not my pictures but I wanted to share the beautiful sight I saw last night but of course I didn't have my camera with me! Outside of my little Champaign-Urbana city you hit country and cornfields. It is actually really beautiful out there. I unexpectedly got to see the sunset out in the country last night and I am so glad I did. It looked just like these pictures! Everyone that told me the midwest has the most beautiful sunsets...they were certainly almost right. They have BEAUTIFUL sunsets, but I cannot discount the gorgeous sunsets of NC at the mountains and the beach.

I also had a great time at the Grad bible study I am going to now. I am starting to make friends with the people there and it is really nice to have a group people around my age that love God and are seeking to live more faithfully for him. I thank you for all the prayers on this because it has been hard but I am finally feeling that this is slowly taking care of itself.

Work is going great too! Compared to a week or 2 ago my life is feeling a lot better all around. I do not have anything really insightful for you right now but maybe after tonight at Chapel. I will be gone to Chicago this weekend to visit my fellow US-2 Meg! I can't wait and I think it will be a great time for us to enjoy each others company, swap stories, and enjoy the city of Chicago (which I have never been too!). After leaving NYC, and having lived in Philly last summer, I am kinda missing the big city life slightly so I think it will be a good time! I miss you all! I officially will be in NC, December 22 - January 6th, so let's make plans!!!

We are one body, one body in Christ

Chapel this week was wonderful. I wish I could have video taped it and zoomed in on each person's facial expressions throughout the whole service. Here are the highlights:

1. Choir practice for the girls for the hour before Chapel was WONDERFUL everyone came with an open mind and ready to sing & praise the Lord. I enjoyed singing with the girls.

2. The girls even sang parts in the music during the service and they sounded BEAUTIFUL! They sang, Agnus Dei and Answer Me. The words were just so simply beautiful,
"Alleluia
Alleluia
For the Lord God Almighty reigns"

3. T, one of the girls I am starting to build a relationship with sang a solo. She sang, "We are one body"...we sang it a few weeks ago (ironically on a night that the girls choir was in uproar and were not acting like they were "one body in Christ".) But for some reason it really stuck in her head and she felt God leading her to sing it again in Chapel. So she did and I cannot tell you how hard it was the fight back the tears. She had everyone on their feet singing, clapping and praising the Lord for how amazing he is and how he works in all these kids lives. I mean all the kids, all the staff, she had everyone up out of their seats! PICTURE...about 40 people, of all races, all ages, all different backgrounds, many kids that have been sexually abused, physically abused, that have mental diagnoses of all different variations...all in one room, listening to this young woman who has been through SO much, praising God through her voice and singing...

We are one body, one body in Christ;
and we do not stand alone.
We are one body, one body in Christ;
and he came that we might have life.

1. Can you hear them crying, can you feel their pain?
   Will you feed my hungry, will you help my lame?
   See the unborn baby, the forgotten one,
   they are not forsaken, they are not unloved
2. I am the Way, the Truth, the Life, I am the Final Sacrifice,
   I am the Way, the Truth, the Life;
   he who believes in me will have eternal life.
   I am the Way, the Truth, the Life, I am the Final Sacrifice,
   I am the Way, the Truth, the Life;
   he who believes in me will have eternal life.
   (to Verse 4)
3. I have come, your Savior, that you might have life,
   through the tears and sorrow, through the toils and strife.
   Listen when I call you, for I know your need,
   come to me, your shepherd, for my flock I feed.
4. On the rock of Peter, see my Church I build.
   Come receive my spirit, with my gifts be filled.
   For you are my body, you're my hands and feet.
   Speak my word of life to ev'ryone you meet.

4. And to make things even better, the Chaplain spoke about "taking a step out in faith" and the kids got to touch water from the actual Jordan River! The kids thought this was the most awesome thing ever and they all took it really seriously and paused before they touched it. I mean I was really intrigued by it too.

5. To end the night the Boys Choir sang. Which they are the sweetest boys, they work so hard and are just wonderful. They dressed up in button downs and khaki's and sang their hearts out to "Open the Eyes of my Heart" and "Lord I lift your name on High"...and let me tell you everyone was back up on their feet supporting the boys.

We truly were "One Body in Christ" last night and it was beautiful. The kids bring so much joy to my life. I was such on high last night when I got home, I was just so excited to be here.

Polar Bears, Garbage Trucks, and future Presidents

I must say that I just got back from 2 of the best hours of my life! I walked out of my apartment around 7:30 thinking I had plenty of time to get to one of the units to read at 8. But then over halfway there I realized I had forgot my keys to get into the unit. So I had to walk briskly back. Then it was 7:45 so I decided I would bike to work. So I ran and got my bike. I didn't take into account that it is REALLY windy tonight. So the not so strenuous bike ride turned into a good work out lol. I arrived at the unit at 8:01. Well then it was fine because the kids bedtimes just got moved to 8:30 or later so I had 30 minutes to chill with the staff and some of the kids which was fun. Then I read to 2 of the kids. I had gone to the library and brought them a selection of about 8 books. The first kid, Z, is just the most amazing kid and such a cutie. He told me that he wants me to get books about Caterpillars for next week. Then he asked me to pray with him before I turned the lights off. It made my heart melt.

After reading to Z I went down the hall to L's room. He picked the 2 longest books, 1 about Garbage trucks in NYC, called, I STINK, which is really cute. And then he picked a book about polar bears in the North and global warming. They both have a really good message. But the funny thing is, we were reading the Garbage truck one and L got to the part where they were dumping trash into the Hudson Bay and he said, "Brooke, that is a disgrace! That is uncalled for. When I become President I will be fixing that problem, yes I will be the first president to fix it!". I love his enthusiasm and excitement to make the world and God's creation a better place. He also asked me to pray with him and it just meant a lot to me.

Then J one of the kids I was supposed to read to fell asleep while I was reading to L, so we just decided I would read to him next week. But one of the older girls T told one of the staff she wanted to talk to me for a bit. So I ended up talking to her for like 30 minutes and it was just really good. She really poured out her heart to me and told me she wanted me to get to know her. This was really good because she is in Gospel Choir with me on Wednesday's and I need to build a good relationship with her. I just sat and listened as she told me about the hard times in her life, her struggles now, and what she wants for the future. At the end we prayed together and just thanked God for that time together. So we are going to make that a time for us to talk since she has a later bedtime. It means later nights on Monday's, but I think its all worth it.

I just had to share that with you all. Praise God, is about all I can say about it, it was just one of those wonderful nights. On my bike ride home I just let the wind blow on me a fresh sense of God's embrace and now I am going to bed very happy:)

One Day

I have been meaning to post lyrics to a song one of our kids wrote, they had it published in the Agency newsletter so I feel it is ok to share this information with you all. This is just an example of the extreme creative nature these kids have. Today I led groups for 2 of the units and they really showed their creative side when I asked them to think about their journey and how God has protected them on their journey's. I showed them different artwork, songs, poems about different people's journey's and how they felt God helping them along the way. I used a song from the group Alathea called, Be My Guide, then a painting by an old friend Jonathan (picture on the left) that is showing God leading him out of dark times, and then a poem I wrote about life being like a Labyrinth. It amazes me how these kids who have been through so much crap, never blame God for it. Their faith and strength is so much beyond my own. I am learning from them each and every day. They know God is their protector, and they know that their Help comes from the Lord like it says in Psalm 121: 1-8. I just ask for continued prayers for the young men and women that I work with, that they will always feel God's protection for them on their journeys.

One Day
by T, a resident at the home

VERSE:
One day the world will be a better place
For each and every single human race.
This is a dream we all have to chase.
We need hard work and persvereance.
No matter what rank of their experience.
We need to understand each other.
Through good times and bad times, sunshine and thunder.
We need to be more positive about ourselves.
We need to throw away the bad times, put them on shelves.
Do what's right for us. Gain and learn how to trust.
We need to teach the next generation love and how to love.
Teach them positive things - stay away from drugs.
So one day we will overcome.

CHORUS:
We will overcome
We will overcome
Streets, projects, and slums
No matter where ya from
We will overcome someday

VERSE:
The Lord says to worship him, not false idols.
For the Lord has the almighty title.
No man can overthrow the Lord's reign.
He taught His love through Bibles, books, and glass of stain.
The goodness of the Lord drives me insane.
I can't get Him out of my mind, blood and veins.
So when you sit there hurt and in pain.
He'll get you through it.
Yes we will overcome.

CHORUS:
We will overcome
We will overcome
Streets, projects, and slums
No matter where ya from
We will overcome someday.

Calls, coffee, prayers and a letter

God never ceases to amaze me. He definitely has a lot of people looking over me and out for me. There is that "Great cloud of witnesses" cheering me onward each step that I take, and there are also so many people on earth hear cheering me onward as well. I had a pretty down week. I am having a rough time not having met a lot of people yet. It's been hard, and I have shed some tears over it. I feel like I am trying everything and it's just not working. Yet, somehow I have gotten through it and am standing strong. That is all because of God and every single person that has prayed for me, called me, sent me mail, e-mailed me, or just thought of me throughout the last month.

I am thankful to my friends from college that keep me updated with life back in Boone, but also listen to me and listen to my new experiences. I am so glad they call me, make me laugh from a far, and are just there for me. I cannot thank my family enough for calling me each day or letting me call them multiple times during the day. For my brother putting up with me texting him to check on him, and also tell him about my life. For all my US-2 family for listening to me vent, or share the good and bad times. For their prayers, e-mails, and support I am so grateful.

Today I got home after having a really good conversation with someone from the grad bible study I go to. We met for coffee and it was something I needed so desperately. I am so thankful to Caci for sitting there and listening to me, and also sharing her life with me as well. That was a highlight of the week. But just to make things even better, I got back to the apartment and I had a letter from Greg (one of my fellow US-2s serving in Baltimore, who is also from NC) and he informed me that he was my prayer partner (we had kept it a secret until we all got to our locations). It was a completely unexpected letter and it just gave me the encouragement I needed right now. Greg is a great friend and I am so glad to know I have him praying for me each day, that gives me so much peace and joy.

A great cloud of witnesses

The last few days I have been feeling the reality of being a missionary settling in. For the first week or so, everything was new and overwhelming. I was just trying to get settled into a new place. Now, even though I am still settling in, it is becoming more of a reality to why I am here. I chose to answer a calling I felt from God to go out and serve his people, the marginalized in society. He called me to a place I never thought I would live, Urbana, IL...a place where I know no one, I don't have a car, and I am 12 hours away from what I call home. No I am not off in Africa or Alaska, but I am away from what is comfortable to me, and from the people I love.

It is different when you go off and do missions for a spring break or a summer, when it becomes your life, each and every day, it becomes something like never before. Going into this I honestly thought somethings would be hard, but I thought I would have a lot easier time making new friends and feeling right at home rather fast. That's how it has always been for me in other places. This time is different, this time it is hard, it's stretching me and challenging me more than I have ever been challenged before. Don't get me wrong, I am not unhappy, I don't think that is the word....but I am uncomfortable, lonely, nervous, and in a state of complete reliance on God.

I love my new job, it is challenging but I am getting to do stuff that I really enjoy. The kids have been through so much yet they have so much joy to bring each day as well. I am learning I really do like this churchish work stuff, even though sometimes the church makes me crazy. I know I am in the right place, and I have not doubted that at all. I am confident that God called me here and wants me to be here. But I'm not going to lie, right now its hard when I come home from work and I don't have a friend to run and see if I had a bad day, or just someone to hang out with. I got spoiled living with all my friends over the last 4 years. I got used to being busy beyond belief each day of the week. Yet each day God is teaching me little lessons of patience, perserverance, that it is ok to struggle and feel lonely, that being in mission is not always easy, the importance of community, and that I really need to learn these lessons.

I was reading a section in this book called, Concepts of Missions that was put out by the UMW. It discusses the scripture of Genesis 11:31 and 12:1-3. It is talking about Abram and how God called him and said, "Go from your country and your kindred and your father's house to the land that I will show you." God offered Abram a direction on the road to take, but Abram had no idea where he was going. I kind of feel like that is what happened with God and I. He called me to do this US-2 Missionary program, and that led to the direction on a road to Urbana, IL...but I honestly had no idea where I was going and what I was getting myself into. Yet, Abram was faithful to God and God was always with Abram. The book talks about how later in the scriptures in the Epistle to the Hebrews the writer, "says with a profound sense of admiration for Abraham, that he is one of the great cloud of witnesses for faithful mission because "he went out not knowing where he went" (Heb. 12:8)

The book further goes on to say that "God's call is a responsibility. It is a major undertaking. This call demands our total being." So in all this I find peace to know that there is great cloud of witnesses from ancient times, to closer to the present, that have gone on before me, but have served God faithfully. It was not always easy, but they got through it. They followed the call. So I hope I can remember daily this scripture, that is gaining new meaning for me, from Heb. 12:1 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses let us also lay aside every weight and sin that clings so closely, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us."

Even though some days are rough, and I haven't met a whole lot of friends yet, I thank God for his faithfulness to me, for his love and strength. I thank all the ones that have gone before me that have served in their own ways. This song really encourages me and Carolyn Arends is a beautiful song writer.

I was just four, my grandmother’s place
I knelt by her sofa and started this race
And now I’ve been running for such a long while
I’ve kind of lost track of the miles
Sometimes I press on, sometimes I look back
Sometimes I just lay in the road on my back
When I’ve got to get up and I don’t know how
I hear in the distance the roar of a crowd

It’s the great cloud of witnesses
Cheering me on each step that I go
It’s the great cloud of witnesses
They say the finish is worth every inch of the road

Moses is there, up in his seat
With my Grandad Wilfred, my Nana Bernice (Pa-Paw Dickens and Newsome)
There’s Abraham, Isaac and my buddy Rich (counsin Amie)
And I think they’re shouting "don’t quit"

So if you are tired, and your back is sore
If you’re not so sure you can run anymore
Then just take a moment and listen real close
Do you hear a sound like a heavenly host?

It’s the great cloud of witnesses
Cheering us on each step that we go
It’s the great cloud of witnesses
They say the finish is worth every inch of the road

It’s friends and relations and each generation of saints who believed
And received The Prize
They have looked into His eyes

It’s the great cloud of witnesses …

I close with this prayer from the book...

O God of mission, as we cross borders in our lives, give us wisdom and courage to continue the journey. Grant us vision to see new horizons and new places where your liberating love needs us. In Jesus' name. Amen.