Liberating Ideas

As I get excited about the possibility of teaching in a year I am always keeping my eyes out for awesome resources I could use in the future or possibly while I am still at CCH. I seriously am excited about teaching, thinking about all my friends that just started classes this week with their new students it makes me excited for them and for my future.  After a week in NY with my fellow US-2's and after many conversations and reflections, I am more at peace with my decision to go back to teaching.  Someone asked me (in relation to vocation), "If you could do anything TODAY what would it be?"  and I said without really questioning it at all, TEACHING!  It is one thing I never really got to try (Sure there was that 6 months of student teaching, that I was really good at, but nothing long term).  This does not mean I will never go to seminary, or never become a Chaplain.  It just means that is going to be put aside for a little while, not put away, just to the side.

In NY, we talked about different ways of looking at vocation. I have to give all the credit to this information to Lucas, because he shared this with us after much of his own research.  Previous to this thought there has been the approach Martin Luther took that there are 2 parts of vocation, the External and the Spiritual.  This says that we each have 2 vocations, what we do for our "job" and then our spiritual duties to the church/family.  The problems with this is that it gives no inherent quality to work.  There becomes a conflict between the spiritual and the external, and it reduces the external part of life.  Or what happens if someone has multiple jobs, where does it all fit in there?  What if my job was to be a teacher...but that was my "external" job, and my spiritual job was to help greet people at church, I would say that my job as a teacher has just as much if not even more spiritual elements than greeting at church.  Honestly, this way of looking at vocation sucks in my opinion.  I think that we all have the opportunity to serve and be spiritual in every job we have, it does not have to be specifically associated with the church to be deemed "spiritual".

There is a school of thought out there now that is called the "Pnuematological" or "Charism" approach.  It was exactly what I needed to hear.  This approach looks at someones "calling" to be the Baptismal calling, in Act 2:48, the only true calling that is talked about in the bible.  That in our Baptismal calling we are to renounce sin and profess faith.  After this, you just have a vocation, you are not "called" to your vocation.  There is so much pressure on the idea of a "calling" its like you can't have more than one, or if you do you justify it by saying that you just didn't hear God right the first time.  Here is how the Pnuematological approach goes:

Foundation:  God is at work in the world, we are in dynamic relationship with him, and we are apart of the new creation project (God is continually creating).

1. The Spirit calls and equips us for all work
2. Not open for ideological misuse
3. Freed for many jobs
4. No mere jobs on the side

This might not make any sense, but if you have more questions let me know.  Either way, I have felt this way for a long time, but I just needed someone to tell me this school of thought had a name and other people feel this way!  God has created me to be a teacher, that is what I will pursue next, then who knows where his creation will take me, but I know he will equip me, he always does!  If you still believe in "Calling" to vocation, I fully support you, and I did for a long time.  But I have just had too many issues with it, in my own experience and others to continue to embrace that view.

Back to cool teaching things....wow I got side tracked.  Apparently I wanted to write about vocation.

I found this site yesterday:

http://www.edliberation.org/resources

This is what their site says:  "We are a national coalition of teachers, community activists, youth, researchers and parents who believe a good education should teach people—particularly low-income youth and youth of color—to understand and challenge the injustices their communities face."

I am excited to explore some of these resources.  I love seeing stuff like this!  It encourages me that there are people out there that think outside the box and are willing to push the envelope a little but still teach the material:)

My mom reminded me I have not written on here since early July....hopefully I will get better about that.

Being Present...

I'm not sure why I haven't written on here lately. I have been rather busy, and most recently sick with a bad case of the flu. I have been at a loss for words as well. Before my vacation, I was in much need of some rejuvenation. I got that on vacation. I came back and was thrown into a whirlwind of craziness of being back at work, with a new summer schedule, various staff out because of injuries, my boss leaving for a long vacation, lots of new kids, and then to top it off I had to get sick. It's been intense. Amidst all that I am struggling to find balance in my life, what things I feel are most important, things I need to keep sane, where I will seek my spiritual needs, basically trying to prioritize and re-evaluate.

This has been an amazing first "almost" year at Cunningham and here in Champaign-Urbana. But now that I am settled in, comes the joys of seeing what worked this year and what didn't, what I need more of, what I can do with out. Also the ever coming future is out there in the distance as well. I try not to think about it but I can't. I always have been a planner, note making, to-do list fanatic. I just like to know what's next, and what I need to do to get there. I have always wished I was more spontaneous, laid back, and go-with-the-flow, but that just hasn't been me.

I guess it is only fitting that I would find a guy, that is spontaneous, laid back and go-with-the-flow. Sometimes it drives me crazy, like when he randomly says, "We are having dinner with my mom in an hour", when I am out grocery shopping. But it's great at times, especially after a hard week, and at 11 at night he says, "let's go swimming!" or we just veg out and watch a movie (meaning he watches it and I fall asleep usually). I'm learning to embrace whatever very small spontaneous side of me there is. It's made for some relief from the stress and intensity of work.

This post is really random and babbling, but you know me! I'm all over the place with trying to figure out life, the next step, what I want to be when I grow up. But as I was looking at my journal and reflecting on the one thing I really wanted to do during these 2 years, I realized that over and over I said these things:

BE PRESENT IN THE MOMENT...be present in my job, with my friends, with the community
HAVE FUN
Don't get caught up in the future and forget to embrace the present

So I guess I should take my own advice and try to be present in the moment. The present is good, (minus this stupid flu, but it made me slow down, so I guess its not too bad), the present is greater than I could have ever imagined, the present is teaching me so much each day, I am growing in the present.

Welcome to Durham

Welcome to Durham, NC...one of the coolest cities in my opinion. Here are some pictures from where my parents now reside. This is a picture from the roof of our parking deck, where you can see the lucky strike water tower. This used to be a tobacco town.

This is a view of the city, you can see my church sticking up in the distance!

Here it is, where my parents now live! It's on the 2nd floor in the blue building with yellow trim.

We live above a pharmacy. I love that my family are city dwellers now! And below is a view of the inside. It is really hard to show pictures of the inside you must come and see it, it is something you don't fully grasp until you enter inside. Needless to say I love this place!!! We leave tomorrow for the beach, but I am excited to walk to church in the morning and on Monday get some coffee down the street!

Salt Water for the Soul

In 5 days I leave for my vacation in the great state of North Carolina! And in 7 days I will be at the glorious beach, Emerald Isle. Some of you might be asking, where??? Well is is one of the many beautiful NC beaches. My family has been going here ever since before I was born and it has become one of those places you just can't stay away from. Last year we went to Sunset Beach and although it was beautiful, Emerald Isle holds a special place in my heart.
Maybe it's the tradition, maybe its the great bookstore they have there, maybe its all the memories that come up each time we arrive. I can't wait to see views like these, walking to the pier, sitting on the porch and looking out across the ocean.
I am in beach withdrawal and I have been excited about this vacation all year! I am excited to spend a week away in one of my favorite places with my wonderful family:) I also am realizing how much I need a vacation. To be honest I am tired and need some rejuvenation. It's been a hard winter/spring and I'm in need of some salt air, water and sand to do wonders for my soul. Yesterday I picked up some books for the trip, I got some new music off iTunes, and I ordered a new bathing suit. I think I am more than ready for this vacation. So in one week I will be walking out on a walkway to the beach just like this, and when I see that glorious ocean, I think my soul will be happy...

Books I Want to Read

I have a grand plan of reading some books this summer. Here are some books I cannot find at the local library that are on my wish list now:) I will try to keep you up to date on what I am reading, if you have some suggestions, fiction or non-fiction send them my way!

1. God's Problem: How the Bible Fails to Answer Our Most Important Question--Why We Suffer by Bart D. Ehrman

God's Problem

* So many people have asked me this question lately (friends and kids) and I feel I need to take a look at some scholarly research on it.

2. The God I Don't Believe In: Charting a New Course for Christianity by Gary L. Wilburn

The God I don't believe in...
*This book sounds like a refreshing look at Christianity and it has great reviews
3. Leaving the Church-A Memoir of Faith by Barbara Brown-Taylor

*I am very interested in hearing from lots of female pastor perspectives as I continue my process of discernment, Barbara Brown Taylor is one such pastor. The review of this book was phenomenal and this was included in the review, "Anyone who is thinking about going to seminary; anyone that is thinking about leaving the church; anyone who is wondering why church has become so difficult; anyone who is wondering why good clergy are becoming more difficult to find; anyone who cares about the postmodern church; anyone who is trying to find a way to re-conceptualize their Christian faith so that it matches the reality of the twenty-first century, should read this book."

**4.Souls in the Hands of a Tender God: Stories of the Search for Home and Healing on the Streets by Craig Rennebohm

Souls in the Hands...
*This is the one I want to finish for sure this summer! This book is written by a Chaplain that has worked in the Mental Health field for many years, his perspective sounds wonderful and much worth reading. The review said, "I recommend this book particularly to professionals in the mental health field, to those who have struggled with mental/emotional problems, and to those who have mentally disturbed family members or friends. Your understanding and patience will be rewarded."

Happy Mother's Day Mom:)

Mom,

I am so broke, so purchasing a present was going to be a little difficult this year so for your Mother's day gift I decided to give you a tribute here on my blog. So, Mom, have a wonderful Mother's Day!!! I wish I was there to celebrate with you, but last year I graduated for Mother's day & found out where I was going to be a missionary, so it's hard to top that! This year I am just a missionary starting my 2nd year of service haha. I love you Mom!

Love,

Your oldest, Brookie

The Top 10 Reasons (I could go on all day) Why My Mom is Amazing:)

1. Everyone loves her! No seriously, her choirs always love her, the kids love her, the parents do, she is just very lovable.

2. She teaches music and has always made music apart of our lives and never pushed it on us (well there was that one time with the Meredith Girls Chorus, I guess I forgive you!). Page took after you more than me, but I still love to sing.

3. She loves to go antique shopping and thrift store shopping. She always finds a deal and I love this about her. She also decorates our house in cool ways, and finds cool places to live like our new loft!!!

4. She always made time for us growing up, even when she was stressed, tired and busy with church work.

5. She has been extremely supportive of all my crazy mission endeavors. This means a lot.

6. When I'm home we love to go get coffee and a fruit bowl from Foster's and sit outside and talk:) I cherish these moments.

7. I talk to her every day, It's rare if we skip more than 2 days without talking. She's always there to listen to me vent, or to give some advice.

8. She is independent, she left home right after High School and moved far away to do what she really wanted to do. She did things she wanted to do before she settled down. She's not afraid to take risks.

9. She has always remained herself, through marriage for 25+ years, 3 kids, various jobs, many moves, and lots of change. She is still true to herself. She's been a good role model for me on that.

10. She raised the 3 of us to be good kids (well I guess she is still raising Amie!). She pinched pennies to get us on vacations each year. She made sure we had all we needed in school. She supported all we did.

Beautiful Boone:)

I am very behind on blog entries. So there will be few close together. 2 weekends ago I went to NC to visit friends, grad school, seminary, and tell people about being a US-2. It was a fast and crazy trip, but a much needed one. This post will focus on one element of the trip... My first time visiting my alma mater since I graduated a year ago.

I'm not going to lie, I was very apprehensive about going to visit. I mean I have moved on, my life has changed so much since I was in college. I loved most of my college years and I am grateful for them. But I wanted to run away from them as fast as I could, and I did. I ran until I got to Urbana, IL. I have many friends still in Boone. I missed them, but I wanted my new life. But I missed those mountains so much. Usually you do not appreciate something fully until you loose it. That is how I was with the mountains. So on that glorious driving up the mountains I could not help but smile and thank God for letting me live there for 4 years, and for letting me return.

The drive up was blessed with some wonderful conversations with my friend Kara. We are both working for very little money trying to save the world (or at least our small populations we work with). I'm so glad we have kept in touch, we have gone through similar things this year and it is comforting to have a friend that knows how you feel. Upon arrival in Boone I got to see so many people, it was wonderful!!!

Saturday, we woke up and went to breakfast at my favorite place, Melanies Food Fantasy (doesn't that just sound amazing!) It's an organic/hippee place that has the most amazing food. Their vegan biscuits and gravy are delicious, greek omlette is to die for, and the french toast is out of this world. I only had the french toast this time. But it was a wonderful way to start off a day in Boone, and it was extra special because it was my friend Sarah's Birthday!!! After breakfast we headed to the parkway! Like old times we congregated on lots of blankets trying to bask up the spring sun. Some of us got burnt, but it was worth it! My dear friend Kelly brought her guitar, morrocas, and tamborine and we rocked out to our favorite jams and there was even a hippee dance involved (are you suprised?).

Dinner that night was lovely with seeing more friends and celebrating Sarah's birthday:)

Church in the morning was unexpectedly wonderful. I got to see people I didn't expect to, like Jennifer and Robert + The Hege's + Reed + The Farrington's. It was such a God send. Lunch with some people, and then Megan and I were off back to Durham.

It was an emotional weekend, realizing things had moved on with out me, but also so much stayed the same. I realized how much I have changed, and I thanked God for changing me. Boone is still one of my favorite places in the world. Those mountains are good for the soul:)