Halloween

My little sister Amie is sooo creative:) Look at her awesome Halloween Costume! She is a diet coke can, it was all her idea too! I miss her!!!

I haven't written in awhile, but that does not mean there hasn't been a lot going on. Actually, I have been very busy with all kinds of stuff both at work and in my social life. I just started leading more groups at work, so every afternoon is packed with those. It's nice to have more one on one or small group time with the kids so I am enjoying that. I have to work really hard in the morning to get everything done before the afternoon comes but it's nice to be busy.

Last night, we had a going away party for one of our kids, T, who is moving into our foster care program. It was sad, because I have gotten to know her and will miss her. Last night she walked the labyrinth at our Chapel service and it was really meaningful. I even teared up. It is a wonderful idea to have our kid do this before they leave, because all the kids and staff surround the labyrinth and hold candles and the child leaving enters the labyrinth and we talk about their journey while they are here. Then when they arrive in the center, we hold our candles towards the child and say a prayer to bless them on their new journey once they leave Cunningham. Then they walk the labyrinth in reverse to begin their new journey. It' really a beautiful moment to witness.

Today, I attempted to go and vote early but it was going to be a 3 hour wait...so I decided I would vote on Election Day instead. But I am so glad lots of people are going out to vote!

Also today we had a Halloween party for Cunningham kids and it was so much fun! I dressed up as the "Wicked Witch of the West". The kids had amazing outfits and just had me laughing the whole time. Today made me realize just how much I love my job. This weekend I will have more time to reflect further!

In the midst of being sick, there was still so much joy

So I have been pretty sick since I got home from Chicago on Sunday. It started out as just a sore throat and a cough and has progressed into a fever, migraine, chest congestion and worse sore throat/cough, along with an upset stomach. I have barely eaten anything, which definitely is a sign I am sick! It has been hard to focus at work and after an extremely exhausting Wednesday, my boss called this morning to see how I was, and we both decided that just grabbing my stuff from work and heading back home was the best thing to do. So I worked a little this afternoon, and slept a lot as well. I am feeling a little better but we will see what tomorrow brings. I am supposed to go camping tomorrow-sunday morning and I REALLY want to go, but I can't if I am still sick like this.

Oh a more joyful note...I have some sweet things to share from work. First off here are some reflections on the Mandala's our kids made in art class. Here is some background on Mandala's + some reflections from the kids:)

Mandala simply means a circle. They are ancient symbols representing the whole world or the life cycle and first appeared in Asia. Celtic Spirals also represent the whole world or the life cycle and appeared all over Europe beginning around the 5th century BC. Some believe that both symbols represent the movement of the spirit through different experiences: spinning into the center of the world and then catapulting out again to journey on a different path.

These are some of the things the kids said about the knots:

“The knots represent love, passion, loyalty and tender care.” 11 year old boy

“Think about it – the knotted dragons represent the 2 sides of each of us. We may be tangled up in knots and ugly on the outside, but beautiful on the inside. And every body has a heart.” 14 year old boy.

“We may have things that hold us back, but we are still beautiful” 15 year old girl

When we were working on the paintings one of my students said they were all like the Circle of Courage (our model for our agency, it is adapted from a Native American child rearing practice, you can see more on our website)

This is how she explained it:

Belonging – because we worked on them together.

Mastery – because we finished all of them.

Independence – because we came up with our own ideas.

Generosity – because we are giving them to put up on campus so everyone can see them.

I just love the things they say:) Also our chapel service last night went great, our theme was, "Take a walk in someone else's shoes"...I will write more on that later!

Chicago Bound:)

I leave for Chicago in the morning on Amtrak:) I am so excited to see my good friends Ashley and Trish that I worked with/lived with in Philly 2 summers ago. We have all been anxiously awaiting this little vacation for awhile now and I can't believe it is finally here! We are going to go see the So You Think You Can Dance Show of the top contestants from this season on Friday night, traveling around the city on Saturday, and then we all leave Sunday afternoon/night. We all love So You Think You Can Dance and are huge fans, especially of Twitch and Joshua. I will post pictures and write more about my trip when I get home on Sunday night!

Be The Change...again

I am going to babble for a few moments here as I write this..I guess I have to stay true to my nickname/blog title. I have been re-reading Be the Change by Zach Hunter. I love this book because it was written by a 15 year old and it just good for everyone to read to wake them up to the injustices going on around them. I have been reading it because one of our kids wants to share in Chapel in 2 weeks about some populations that are dealing with injustice. Her father was just deported a few weeks ago so one main thing on her mind is immigration, but also child slave labor, child soldiers, and other kids that have been abused like the kids here. Her theme is "Take a Walk in My Shoes". To see a kid who has been through so much pain and suffering want to share with other kids who have been through pain as well about injustices going on with others just makes me realize even more that we must become like a child and LISTEN TO THE KIDS! They know what they are talking about. It further makes me realize why God wants me to be here. I am supposed to bring a voice to the marginalized population of children and youth, especially children and youth that have been cast out by society and hurt by society as well.

Back to the book. There is a section that discusses the "social gospel" and how many people are afraid of that term. He brings up the fact that many people don't want to call it the social gospel because then they would have to admit that being a christian is about more than just being holy but also about serving the poor and bringing justice to God's kindom. He says that he doesn't understand why everyone is arguing because and I quote,

"Compassion is an overflow of the gospel - The Good News of Christ's sacrifice. Compassion says we have embraced the relationship with God through Christ. It's not that we have to earn our salvation by doing good things, but compassion and service flow out of us because we are filled with God's love. If we don't take care of orphans and widows, if we don't care for the poor and hurting, how can we say we belong to Jesus?"

I read this at a perfect time today as I was struggling with thinking through all my interactions with kids this week. It was a rough week. The Chaplain was gone to a conference and I was on my own and of course lots of unexpected things came up. I got stressed for about the first time since I have been here and I know it did not help some interactions I had with kids. I became very self-aware of that yesterday and realized I just will not be able to do everything this week, and that is going to have to be ok. My "honeymoon" period with the kids is starting to wear off and some kids are getting mad at me for things. But in many ways its showing that they appreciate that I will put up with them and love them unconditionally. They just have to test that to see if I will keep following through. This is an extremely challenging population to work with and I am realizing that more each and every day. It doesn't make me want to stop by any means, it just makes me want to forge ahead but also make sure I am aware of myself and take time to reflect and re-evaluate.

I had some 1st time experiences this week that scared me a little or just rocked me. (A friend of mine commented recently that all my blog entries are "happy"..well here is one that isn't so much). I tell you these stories because I want you to know about my experiences, not to scare you, not to make you have pity on me or these kids, I just want you to realize how much I love them and how much we all need to fight for justice for them.

This week, I had a kid tell me he wanted to kill himself and then proceed to try to drink a bottle of soap. Then the same kid tried to strangle another kid with a phone cord. Another kid tried to break a window for 30 minutes straight with his fists. A few kids told me they hated me and hoped I died. They tested me all week. It was hard I'm not going to lie...there were times I wanted to run away and cry. But somehow I gained the strength I needed to get through those times and still love those kids unconditionally.

These kids are the modern day "orphans". We MUST love them unconditionally. We MUST or we need to seriously consider if we truly can say we belong to Jesus. We MUST care for the hurting, because they are ALL AROUND us. You might not have 60+ kids with mental, emotional and behavioral problems. But I bet you have someone in your workplace, group of friends, school, or family that is hurting. I am sure you have people in your community that are hurting. I am sure there are many marginalized communities you can work with to help bring about justice for them. I urge you to consider each day if you are being mindful or talking to someone that is hurting, where you can say I belong to Jesus and truly feel right about saying it.

I am saying all this to reflect on my week, to tell myself I need to do all these things. Things are not always easy, and I am pretty sure after work today I am probably going to have a little bit of a crying party to just get out my emotions of the week. But when I take a step back and look at it all...I am just learning to love these kids unconditionally and that is not something you just pick up on quickly...it's a process.

Mandala's & Advice Trees

Our kids are making Mandala's in art class and are going to make them into a quilt to hang in our chapel! They are gorgeous and I can't wait to see the final product...and the kids really enjoyed making them. It reminded me of the night during my US-2 training that we created Mandala's. Ours were all different, yet somehow they would have made a beautiful quilt as well.

My lesson today for the kids in the 2 younger units went really well. I will take a picture of what we did and put it up tomorrow. We were talking about King Solomon and how he was the wisest king. We made an "Advice" tree and the kids wrote on different leaves people that had given them good advice. Then as they came to put the leaves up they shared why that person gave them good advice and if they listened to that advice. It was actually really moving to hear the kids process through what good advice is. I think the staff were moved by it to, as many of the kids picked the staff as people who had given them good advice. Now the 2 advice tree's are hanging outside of my office on the bulletin board which desperately needed to be re-done and now we have 2 lovely fall like trees on it!

As I was figuring out my lesson for today I stopped to pause and think about people who have given me good advice throughout the years. I realized I probably never said thank you to all of them. I am so lucky that I have a family and friends that give me good advice. So here was some of the advice (paraphrased a little bit)...This would be MY ADVICE TREE:

My dad: To smile and have fun, not to take myself too seriously (as I was about to embark on training this summer, Philly, and REACH)

I wish I could remember his exact words...but when I didn't get Teach for America, he told me something and it calmed me down. Then he helped me find another option for life after college...funny thing, it was the US-2 program. Thanks dad!

After Kevin broke up with me Sophmore year...my dad told me that I had to, "Go Cold Turkey"...don't speak to him for a month. Best advice anyone could have given me. I did and sure enough a month later I was like a whole new person, was going on a mission trip to the Gulf Coast and it was like my life started over. It's funny looking back because I sure didn't listen to his previous advice with kevin.

My mom: "What a great experience to have at your age, soak it all up" (a recent letter from my mom) (mom you always give me tons of advice and are always there to listen to me everyday and I am forever greatful...dad just says less so I remember them more vividly!)

Eleanor Roosevelt: "Do one thing every day that scares you" (well she didn't really give me this advice obviously but I really like the advice!)

Greg: "Rock Urbana's World! Love the children and teens/youngsters fiercely. Feel the flow" (letter to me telling me he was my US-2 prayer partner)

Other people whom always give good advice...

Sally - my dear friend since we were like 5!
Katey B - I love you and always need to hear your perspective since you know me so well
Brittany K - thank goodness you were my roommate last year I always needed you to listen.
Megan M - oh how many conversations have we had where you helped me!
Trish - you are full of wisdom and sometimes I just don't know what I would do without you!
Elyse - I am so glad we are friends because I always need to hear your p.o.v.
Nanee - Let's just say I have a wonderful grandma that always gives good advice!
Sarah S - thank you for being my accountability partner, gracious knows I need to hear your opinion especially tuesday nights hehe!
Sarah M - you tell it like it is and I am so glad you do!
Meg K - US-2 accountability partner, glad I can talk with you about stuff and ask the odd questions!
Kelly M - always giving such uplifting encouragement and also just calling me out! love it!
Jessica L - I mean seriously how can I even describe my love for you and your advice!
Kara B - always is my partner in crime in discussing all of our wonderful plans of saving the world..

And I could go on and on all night. I love you all and am forever greatful for my friends and family whom give me a wealth of wise advice! What would I do with out you all????

A new season...my favorite season

Sorry I haven't written in awhile, I have just been really busy with lots of stuff at work and also am starting to enjoy a social life as well! It is funny how I will be preparing a lesson for the kids and then I end up learning so much from the lesson and kids as well. It is an awesome experience! I was planning a lesson about "Seasons" last week for our older youth. I was having a hard time picking a lesson and then I came upon one about Seasons and thought it was perfect timing since it just turned to fall. I had the kids draw things the represented their favorite seasons and the pictures cracked me up! A lot of the kids favorite season was fall, which suprised me because I thought they would have said Summer or even winter because of the snow. But no Fall was the season of choice.

Well if you know me at all Fall is my FAVORITE season, I love it and I am always the happiest in the fall. I love to see the leaves change, the air gets cool, it's perfect hiking and camping weather, sweatshirts, jeans, and boots are normal attire...basically it is just glorious! I just love to feel the summer being blown away into fall. Fall also appeals to me because it represents a lot of change. The leaves change colors, they fall off the trees, and everything prepares for the coming winter. I think that might be why these kids picked fall as their favorite season (minus the fact there is halloween and they can jump in the leaves)...but also because it kind of represents a time of change, where we shed off the past of previous seasons slowly and then are given the opportunity to be still and collect ourselves in the winter. These kids have been through a lot, and they just want to start over in many ways...not forget the past but be able to forgive whom they need to and just move on. I think fall brings hope that, that can become a reality.

There was my deep message haha. Now for some excitements I have for this Fall season...

1. I am going to Chicago Oct. 17-19 to visit with my friends that I worked/lived with in Philly last summer!! We are going to see the So You Think You Can Dance Show and tour the city! It will be nice to see some friends:)

2. I am going Camping the 2nd to last weekend in Oct. with some friends from my Grad Bible Study! I am really excited, because I LOVE camping and thought I wasn't going to be able to go this year.

3. Spending the fall with some amazing kids and staff here at Cunningham:)

And some prayers...

*We have some kids leaving soon, and they just happen to be some kids I have gotten to know really well. I am going to miss them, but I just ask for prayers that they will be sent to good foster homes and be able to succeed after this program.

*That I will find the right balance in the midst of all of the newness of a new job, a new town, new friends, etc...

Thank you all for your support, and I pray that your Fall season will give you each a time to shed off some of the past to prepare for what God has instore for your future.