I'm not sure why I haven't written on here lately. I have been rather busy, and most recently sick with a bad case of the flu. I have been at a loss for words as well. Before my vacation, I was in much need of some rejuvenation. I got that on vacation. I came back and was thrown into a whirlwind of craziness of being back at work, with a new summer schedule, various staff out because of injuries, my boss leaving for a long vacation, lots of new kids, and then to top it off I had to get sick. It's been intense. Amidst all that I am struggling to find balance in my life, what things I feel are most important, things I need to keep sane, where I will seek my spiritual needs, basically trying to prioritize and re-evaluate.
This has been an amazing first "almost" year at Cunningham and here in Champaign-Urbana. But now that I am settled in, comes the joys of seeing what worked this year and what didn't, what I need more of, what I can do with out. Also the ever coming future is out there in the distance as well. I try not to think about it but I can't. I always have been a planner, note making, to-do list fanatic. I just like to know what's next, and what I need to do to get there. I have always wished I was more spontaneous, laid back, and go-with-the-flow, but that just hasn't been me.
I guess it is only fitting that I would find a guy, that is spontaneous, laid back and go-with-the-flow. Sometimes it drives me crazy, like when he randomly says, "We are having dinner with my mom in an hour", when I am out grocery shopping. But it's great at times, especially after a hard week, and at 11 at night he says, "let's go swimming!" or we just veg out and watch a movie (meaning he watches it and I fall asleep usually). I'm learning to embrace whatever very small spontaneous side of me there is. It's made for some relief from the stress and intensity of work.
This post is really random and babbling, but you know me! I'm all over the place with trying to figure out life, the next step, what I want to be when I grow up. But as I was looking at my journal and reflecting on the one thing I really wanted to do during these 2 years, I realized that over and over I said these things:
BE PRESENT IN THE MOMENT...be present in my job, with my friends, with the community
Don't get caught up in the future and forget to embrace the present
So I guess I should take my own advice and try to be present in the moment. The present is good, (minus this stupid flu, but it made me slow down, so I guess its not too bad), the present is greater than I could have ever imagined, the present is teaching me so much each day, I am growing in the present.