My heart just breaks

One of the teenage girls I work with a lot had a rough day today.  I have become very fond of this girl, she is extremely likable and just a sweetheart.  I hate to see her upset.  Tonight we were supposed to go out to dinner to celebrate some triumphs she has had in working on her therapeutic goals, and we still went to dinner but the tone was very different.  I cannot go into much detail of course, but she found out some news that just was like someone smacking her in the face with a frying pan.  It was horrible for her to hear, horrible timing by the person telling her, and just a bad situation all around.  I just hate when the kids I work with are treated poorly, they have had such a hard life already, they do not need any more crap in their lives.  Tonight as I rubbed her back as she cried I almost started crying with her because my heart truly does break every day for each of these kids.   Please keep this young girl in your prayers.

3 Cups of Tea Book Club

Today, we actually did have tea in our Three Cups of Tea book club I do with some of my youth, it was lovely:)

Thought on peace

The below scripture and thought is from the Sojourner's website.  I felt it fit well with my emphasis on peace this Lenten season.

Pursue peace with everyone, and the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. Hebrews 12:14

Very often, people who are in conversation with servants, people who gain knowledge of the realities of life

Valerie Elverton Dixon, from her essay,"Servant Knowledge"

Ashes, blues and peace

So I apologize to my readers, that I have taken so long to write on here. I feel like I have had writers block for awhile. I have written in my journal, but those are more personal writtings. Anyways a little reflection from today...ramblings as usual.

We had our ashe wednesday service tonight at chapel and it is always meaningful to perform various spiritual rituals with my kids. I love communion weeks and tonight was special as well. Taking the time with each kid and staff to have them kneel and then putting a sign of the cross on their heads and sending them forth with a blessing is meaningful. Rituals can be very moving.

I think I have the winter time blues...I just am in a rut, with my faith, with friends, with my routine...my life just seems to need a recharge. I am hoping I am just in need of a vacation...which I will be in North Carolina in a month! I need to see the ground, I am sick of snow! I want sunshine and flowers! I want to wear flip flops and go to the park. I want to have a picnic.
I do not do good with the unknown, I am a planner. I like to be in control. Currently I have no idea what my future holds. It is a big year of change. Change with my family, change in my life, change in jobs, change in location. Crazy times, but so much amazing future on the horizon, lots of joyous events!

As we enter into this season of Lent, I know the blues are not going to just magically leave, and the ashes on my head right now are a good reminder of that. But times are a changing and Easter and spring are on the horizon. And as my addition to my life during Lent I am going to try to add more peace to my life and others lives.  Tonight in celebration of Black History Month, I shared with the kids about Maya Angelou, the amazing poet, and shared her poem Amazing Peace.  I will share it below with you:
 
In our joy, we think we hear a whisper.


At first it is too soft. Then only half heard.

We listen carefully as it gathers strength.

We hear a sweetness.

The word is Peace.

It is loud now.

Louder than the explosion of bombs.

We tremble at the sound.

We are thrilled by its presence.

It is what we have hungered for.

Not just the absence of war. But true Peace.

A harmony of spirit, and comfort of courtesies.

Security for our beloveds and their beloveds.


We, Angels and Mortals, Believers and Nonbelievers,

Look heavenward and speak the word aloud.

Peace. We look at each other, then into ourselves,

And we say without shyness or apology or hesitation:

Peace, My Brother.

Peace, My Sister.

Peace, My Soul.


As I enter into this season of Lent, those last 3 lines stick with me, and will be my focus.

Being Present...

I'm not sure why I haven't written on here lately. I have been rather busy, and most recently sick with a bad case of the flu. I have been at a loss for words as well. Before my vacation, I was in much need of some rejuvenation. I got that on vacation. I came back and was thrown into a whirlwind of craziness of being back at work, with a new summer schedule, various staff out because of injuries, my boss leaving for a long vacation, lots of new kids, and then to top it off I had to get sick. It's been intense. Amidst all that I am struggling to find balance in my life, what things I feel are most important, things I need to keep sane, where I will seek my spiritual needs, basically trying to prioritize and re-evaluate.

This has been an amazing first "almost" year at Cunningham and here in Champaign-Urbana. But now that I am settled in, comes the joys of seeing what worked this year and what didn't, what I need more of, what I can do with out. Also the ever coming future is out there in the distance as well. I try not to think about it but I can't. I always have been a planner, note making, to-do list fanatic. I just like to know what's next, and what I need to do to get there. I have always wished I was more spontaneous, laid back, and go-with-the-flow, but that just hasn't been me.

I guess it is only fitting that I would find a guy, that is spontaneous, laid back and go-with-the-flow. Sometimes it drives me crazy, like when he randomly says, "We are having dinner with my mom in an hour", when I am out grocery shopping. But it's great at times, especially after a hard week, and at 11 at night he says, "let's go swimming!" or we just veg out and watch a movie (meaning he watches it and I fall asleep usually). I'm learning to embrace whatever very small spontaneous side of me there is. It's made for some relief from the stress and intensity of work.

This post is really random and babbling, but you know me! I'm all over the place with trying to figure out life, the next step, what I want to be when I grow up. But as I was looking at my journal and reflecting on the one thing I really wanted to do during these 2 years, I realized that over and over I said these things:

BE PRESENT IN THE MOMENT...be present in my job, with my friends, with the community
HAVE FUN
Don't get caught up in the future and forget to embrace the present

So I guess I should take my own advice and try to be present in the moment. The present is good, (minus this stupid flu, but it made me slow down, so I guess its not too bad), the present is greater than I could have ever imagined, the present is teaching me so much each day, I am growing in the present.

Welcome to Durham

Welcome to Durham, NC...one of the coolest cities in my opinion. Here are some pictures from where my parents now reside. This is a picture from the roof of our parking deck, where you can see the lucky strike water tower. This used to be a tobacco town.

This is a view of the city, you can see my church sticking up in the distance!

Here it is, where my parents now live! It's on the 2nd floor in the blue building with yellow trim.

We live above a pharmacy. I love that my family are city dwellers now! And below is a view of the inside. It is really hard to show pictures of the inside you must come and see it, it is something you don't fully grasp until you enter inside. Needless to say I love this place!!! We leave tomorrow for the beach, but I am excited to walk to church in the morning and on Monday get some coffee down the street!

Salt Water for the Soul

In 5 days I leave for my vacation in the great state of North Carolina! And in 7 days I will be at the glorious beach, Emerald Isle. Some of you might be asking, where??? Well is is one of the many beautiful NC beaches. My family has been going here ever since before I was born and it has become one of those places you just can't stay away from. Last year we went to Sunset Beach and although it was beautiful, Emerald Isle holds a special place in my heart.
Maybe it's the tradition, maybe its the great bookstore they have there, maybe its all the memories that come up each time we arrive. I can't wait to see views like these, walking to the pier, sitting on the porch and looking out across the ocean.
I am in beach withdrawal and I have been excited about this vacation all year! I am excited to spend a week away in one of my favorite places with my wonderful family:) I also am realizing how much I need a vacation. To be honest I am tired and need some rejuvenation. It's been a hard winter/spring and I'm in need of some salt air, water and sand to do wonders for my soul. Yesterday I picked up some books for the trip, I got some new music off iTunes, and I ordered a new bathing suit. I think I am more than ready for this vacation. So in one week I will be walking out on a walkway to the beach just like this, and when I see that glorious ocean, I think my soul will be happy...

Books I Want to Read

I have a grand plan of reading some books this summer. Here are some books I cannot find at the local library that are on my wish list now:) I will try to keep you up to date on what I am reading, if you have some suggestions, fiction or non-fiction send them my way!

1. God's Problem: How the Bible Fails to Answer Our Most Important Question--Why We Suffer by Bart D. Ehrman

God's Problem

* So many people have asked me this question lately (friends and kids) and I feel I need to take a look at some scholarly research on it.

2. The God I Don't Believe In: Charting a New Course for Christianity by Gary L. Wilburn

The God I don't believe in...
*This book sounds like a refreshing look at Christianity and it has great reviews
3. Leaving the Church-A Memoir of Faith by Barbara Brown-Taylor

*I am very interested in hearing from lots of female pastor perspectives as I continue my process of discernment, Barbara Brown Taylor is one such pastor. The review of this book was phenomenal and this was included in the review, "Anyone who is thinking about going to seminary; anyone that is thinking about leaving the church; anyone who is wondering why church has become so difficult; anyone who is wondering why good clergy are becoming more difficult to find; anyone who cares about the postmodern church; anyone who is trying to find a way to re-conceptualize their Christian faith so that it matches the reality of the twenty-first century, should read this book."

**4.Souls in the Hands of a Tender God: Stories of the Search for Home and Healing on the Streets by Craig Rennebohm

Souls in the Hands...
*This is the one I want to finish for sure this summer! This book is written by a Chaplain that has worked in the Mental Health field for many years, his perspective sounds wonderful and much worth reading. The review said, "I recommend this book particularly to professionals in the mental health field, to those who have struggled with mental/emotional problems, and to those who have mentally disturbed family members or friends. Your understanding and patience will be rewarded."

Happy Mother's Day Mom:)

Mom,

I am so broke, so purchasing a present was going to be a little difficult this year so for your Mother's day gift I decided to give you a tribute here on my blog. So, Mom, have a wonderful Mother's Day!!! I wish I was there to celebrate with you, but last year I graduated for Mother's day & found out where I was going to be a missionary, so it's hard to top that! This year I am just a missionary starting my 2nd year of service haha. I love you Mom!

Love,

Your oldest, Brookie

The Top 10 Reasons (I could go on all day) Why My Mom is Amazing:)

1. Everyone loves her! No seriously, her choirs always love her, the kids love her, the parents do, she is just very lovable.

2. She teaches music and has always made music apart of our lives and never pushed it on us (well there was that one time with the Meredith Girls Chorus, I guess I forgive you!). Page took after you more than me, but I still love to sing.

3. She loves to go antique shopping and thrift store shopping. She always finds a deal and I love this about her. She also decorates our house in cool ways, and finds cool places to live like our new loft!!!

4. She always made time for us growing up, even when she was stressed, tired and busy with church work.

5. She has been extremely supportive of all my crazy mission endeavors. This means a lot.

6. When I'm home we love to go get coffee and a fruit bowl from Foster's and sit outside and talk:) I cherish these moments.

7. I talk to her every day, It's rare if we skip more than 2 days without talking. She's always there to listen to me vent, or to give some advice.

8. She is independent, she left home right after High School and moved far away to do what she really wanted to do. She did things she wanted to do before she settled down. She's not afraid to take risks.

9. She has always remained herself, through marriage for 25+ years, 3 kids, various jobs, many moves, and lots of change. She is still true to herself. She's been a good role model for me on that.

10. She raised the 3 of us to be good kids (well I guess she is still raising Amie!). She pinched pennies to get us on vacations each year. She made sure we had all we needed in school. She supported all we did.

Beautiful Boone:)

I am very behind on blog entries. So there will be few close together. 2 weekends ago I went to NC to visit friends, grad school, seminary, and tell people about being a US-2. It was a fast and crazy trip, but a much needed one. This post will focus on one element of the trip... My first time visiting my alma mater since I graduated a year ago.

I'm not going to lie, I was very apprehensive about going to visit. I mean I have moved on, my life has changed so much since I was in college. I loved most of my college years and I am grateful for them. But I wanted to run away from them as fast as I could, and I did. I ran until I got to Urbana, IL. I have many friends still in Boone. I missed them, but I wanted my new life. But I missed those mountains so much. Usually you do not appreciate something fully until you loose it. That is how I was with the mountains. So on that glorious driving up the mountains I could not help but smile and thank God for letting me live there for 4 years, and for letting me return.

The drive up was blessed with some wonderful conversations with my friend Kara. We are both working for very little money trying to save the world (or at least our small populations we work with). I'm so glad we have kept in touch, we have gone through similar things this year and it is comforting to have a friend that knows how you feel. Upon arrival in Boone I got to see so many people, it was wonderful!!!

Saturday, we woke up and went to breakfast at my favorite place, Melanies Food Fantasy (doesn't that just sound amazing!) It's an organic/hippee place that has the most amazing food. Their vegan biscuits and gravy are delicious, greek omlette is to die for, and the french toast is out of this world. I only had the french toast this time. But it was a wonderful way to start off a day in Boone, and it was extra special because it was my friend Sarah's Birthday!!! After breakfast we headed to the parkway! Like old times we congregated on lots of blankets trying to bask up the spring sun. Some of us got burnt, but it was worth it! My dear friend Kelly brought her guitar, morrocas, and tamborine and we rocked out to our favorite jams and there was even a hippee dance involved (are you suprised?).

Dinner that night was lovely with seeing more friends and celebrating Sarah's birthday:)

Church in the morning was unexpectedly wonderful. I got to see people I didn't expect to, like Jennifer and Robert + The Hege's + Reed + The Farrington's. It was such a God send. Lunch with some people, and then Megan and I were off back to Durham.

It was an emotional weekend, realizing things had moved on with out me, but also so much stayed the same. I realized how much I have changed, and I thanked God for changing me. Boone is still one of my favorite places in the world. Those mountains are good for the soul:)

DUKE/CAROLINA

While I was down in NC, I visited both Duke and Carolina. Duke for their Master's of Divinity Program and Carolina for their Master's of Social Work Program. They offer a Dual-Degree program that you can complete in 4 years between the 2 schools. I was very interested in the program and wanted to check it all out. I am still in discernment mode on all of it. I have a lot to still chew on after visiting the 2 schools. I was very impressed with them both. I just have a lot to think about with it all. I would apply to both in probably September and would hear from Duke by Christmas, and Carolina in probably February. I haven't had much time to process since I got back so I hope there is some time this summer that I can really spend time figuring things out. We will see what the fall of 2010 will bring... it will be a hard transition from working full time back into school. But to do what I want to do for the future I need to go to seminary at least. Oh decisions, decisions...I'm just trying not to rush this one.

Jesus - The long-haired radical socialist Jew

My friend shared this on her blog today and I just loved it and had to share it with you all!

Well Jesus was a homeless lad,
with an unwed mother and an absent dad,
and I really don’t think he would have gotten that far,
if Newt, Pat, and Jesse had followed that star.

So let’s all sing out praises to
that long-haired radical socialist Jew.

When Jesus taught the people, he
would never charge a tuition fee.
He just took some fishes and some bread
and made up free school lunches instead.

So let’s all sing out praises to
that long-haired radical socialist Jew.

He healed the blind and made them see;
he brought the lame folks to their feet.
Rich and poor, anytime, anywhere,
just pioneering that free healthcare!

So let’s all sing out praises to
that long-haired radical socialist Jew

Jesus hung with a low-life crowd
but those working stiffs sure did him proud
some were murderers, thieves, and whores
but at least they didn’t do it as legislators

So let’s all sing out praises to
that long-haired radical socialist Jew.

Jesus lived in troubled times—
the religious right was on the rise.
Oh what could have saved him from his terrible fate?
Separation of church and state.

So let’s all sing out praises to
that long-haired radical socialist Jew.

Sometimes I fall into deep despair
when I hear those hypocrites on the air.
But every Sunday gives me hope
when pastor, deacon, priest, and pope
are all singing out their praises to
some long-haired radical socialist Jew.

They’re singing out their praises to…oooo…oooo…
some long-haired radical socialist Jew.

© 1996 Hugh Blumenfeld/Hydrogen Jukebox Music

Jumping into a pool with your clothes on!

I wanted to give a little tribute to my dad on his birthday today! I thought I would give a little highlight as to why I love my dad and am lucky to be his daughter, here goes!

1. When I was little my dad jumped into a blow up plastic swimming pool with all his clothes on because I asked him to come in swimming with me right then. (he tells this a lot in sermons)

2. My dad let me grow up in a downtown neighborhood where I learned a lot about diversity, downtown culture, and being open-minded. It has helped me throughout my life.

3. He always took us to all the cool (and sometimes hole in the wall) local places to eat.

4. He shared his love of pizza with me and I am forever grateful. Brother's pizza will always be the best!!!

5. His midlife crisis consisted of becoming more radical, he participated in Peace Rallies.

6. He cares a ton about people, especially broken people.

7. He has been doing Youth Ministry for over 25 years and he still is good at it.

8. He speaks his mind.

9. Takes me to the beach every year.

10. Is always there for me, even when I would get mad at him in High School or didn't believe that he was right.

11. He gave me the best advice on a relationship. When I broke up with Kevin he told me to go cold turkey and not talk to him for at least a month. I did and it was the best thing I ever did.

12. He encourages and supports me in my mission work and future plans for ministry, but never pushed me into it.

13. He's not afraid to take chances, and that has rubbed off on me. He even was the one that told me about the US-2 program.

14. He knows lots of musicians and I think that is super cool!

15. No matter how rough of a time I am going through, my dad always knows what to say to me. It might be in an e-mail, a card, or a short phone call. It might just be a sentence, or a hug. But sometimes I might not be better until he says something and then I can get through whatever it is. He has the magic dad touch.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!!! I love you:)

11 years old, WOW!

I can't believe my sister is 11 years old today! It seems just like yesterday that she was born! She is now almost as tall as me (this picture was from LAST summer) and she is turning into a cool little tween. I got to spend a week with her this past week and she is turning into a wonderful young lady. We had afternoon tea at the American Girl Doll Store in Chicago and it was the best time I have had in awhile! She was so cute and we had a blast just talking about all kinds of stuff. I like that now we can actually have a conversation. I always regret not being around for her enough once I moved off to college, 3 hours away, and now to Illinois, 12 hours away. It's hard because I want to be there for her and see her grow up, but I also know this is where I am supposed to be. She is great about it though, she misses me but is so supportive of what I do. She tells all her friends that I am a missionary and live in in Illinois. This year she even put my birthday up on her class calendar. She is the best little sister. I can't believe she will be going into MIDDLE SCHOOL in the fall, that scares me! I want to protect her from everything, but I know I am still far away and can't do it all. I hope she knows just how much I love her and will always be there for her no matter the distance. She is a great kid:) I hope to be closer to her after the 2 years are up but you just never know what will happen. I am excited I will see her Thursday too and she wants me to play the new Wii she got for her birthday with her and I can't wait:) So this is my salute to my little sister, whom I affectionately call my Little Princess! (she is spoiled!!!).

HAPPY 11th BIRTHDAY PRINCESS AMIE!!!

Christ the Lord is Risen Today, Alleluia!

These were the images I got blessed with seeing today! A beautiful Cross with a butterfly, a tomb with flowers, kids & youth (whom some dressed up and it was ADORABLE!), and some balloons! I woke up to a text from my brother wishing me a Happy Easter:) Then I went to a breakfast at church, which was delicious! After that I sat through a 1.5 hour church service that would have not been too bad BUT they did NOT sing, Christ the Lord is Risen Today, which is my favorite hymn. I am pretty sure this is the first year in my whole life I have not sang that song on Easter. My friend Caci and I were devestated. We also had communion, which was different and they and "Were you there?". It was just different for me, but I guess I will survive. Tonight I am going to a Easter dinner at my friend Kristen's and I am going to ask her husband to play Christ the Lord is Risen today, on the piano because I need to hear it!

After service #1, my boss and I ventured to work to begin filling up LOTS of balloons. We had a few issues with finding the key to the helium tank and all kinds of fun things. But after about 30 minutes of wasted time we started filling them up and then had to transport them from the Rec building, to the van, to the Spiritual Life Center, and then to the Chapel. It was hilarious and I have so much static in my hair and body I keep getting shocked! We just barely were ready at 2 when the kids arrived. Things went well for the most part, there were a few hiccups but I think only my boss and I noticed. My favorite part was the balloon release at the end! The kids wrote down something they wanted to, "Let Go, and Let God" and tied it to the balloon. Then we all went out in front of the Chapel and released the balloons. The wind had picked up so they went really fast. I am surprised I even got a shot of them! We all shouted ALLELUIA as we let go of our balloons. It was a lovely Easter:)

I did miss being with family, but they will be here soon! And I am so blessed to have a wonderful group of friends to join together tonight and eat with:) I made some deviled eggs and watergate salad to make myself feel a little at home! HAPPY EASTER TO YOU ALL! It truly is a blessed day to celebrate the Risen Lord, the empty tomb gives us hope for a new life!

Gone to Carolina in my mind

Oh how I miss the great state of NC. Yesterday on Oprah, James Taylor performed! It was lovely to listen to him sing some of my favorite songs. It took me back even for a moment to NC and the warm sunshine. I always remember my dad singing Fire and Rain with my mom at church things and so when I hear James Taylor I just can't help but get a little sentimental and home sick. Good thing my parents and sister are coming to see my Tuesday and I will be in NC on the 23rd!!! I love it here in Illinois too, but I'm gone to Carolina in my mind...

In my mind I'm goin' to Carolina
Can't you see the sunshine
Can't you just feel the moonshine
Ain't it just like a friend of mine
It hit me from behind
Yes I'm gone to Carolina in my mind

Karen she's a silver sun
You best walk her way and watch it shinin'
Watch her watch the mornin' come
A silver tear appearing now
I'm cryin' ain't I
Gone to Carolina in my mind

There ain't no doubt it no ones mind
That loves the finest thing around
Whisper something soft and kind
And hey babe the sky's on fire,
I'm dyin' ain't I
Gone to Carolina in my mind

In my mind I'm goin' to Carolina
Can't you see the sunshine
Can't you just feel the moonshine
Ain't it just like a friend of mine
It hit me from behind
Yes I'm goin' to Carolina in my mind

Dark and silent late last night
I think I might have heard the highway calling
Geese in flight and dogs that bite
Signs that might be omens say I going, going
I'm gone to Carolina in my mind

With a holy host of others standing around me
Still I'm on the dark side of the moon
And it seems like it goes on like this forever
You must forgive me
If I'm up and gone to Carolina in my mind

In my mind I'm goin' to Carolina
Can't you see the sunshine
Can't you just feel the moonshine
Ain't it just like a friend of mine
It hit me from behind
Yes I'm gone to Carolina in my mind
Gone to Carolina in my mind
Then I'm on to Carolina in my mind
Gone to Carolina in my mind
Gone - I'm gone - I'm gone
Say nice things about me
'Cause I'm gone south
Carry on without me
'Cause I'm gone

Feet

Last night at Chapel, as we experienced a Seder Meal, I also got the humbling opportunity to wash my kids feet. Some of course didn't want their feet washed because it was a very intimate and different experience. But the ones that did let me wash their feet I am very grateful to because it impacted me so much. As I washed this one girl's feet, I just had to pause to think that this was such an amazing moment in time because, this girl,

1. is extremely hyper all the time so for her to calm down and let me wash her feet was amazing in itself.

2. This is a girl who has lost most of her family in a house fire a few years ago, she is bipolar, many days she drives me up the wall and I think she might be the kid I struggle with the most.

But as I washed her feet I said a prayer thanking God for letting me be humbled in that moment, to be able to wash her feet, to serve her. She thanked me over and over again, and I told her it was my honor. As I moved around the tables washing different kids and staffs feet, I wish I could bottle up the emotions that were in the room. There was some laughter, but mainly just a bunch of kids and adults all joined together in that moment, all being humbled at the act of footwashing. I think some of my kids felt like the disciples, completely baffled as to why someone, especially Jesus (their leader) or Me (their kinda leader) would want to wash THEIR feet. Especially at Cunningham this was even more of a wild and radical thing because staff really do not touch kids unless we have to. We must do side hugs, and we are always telling the kids to be careful of boundaries. But in this moment we let ourselves be completely vulnerable and let someone touch their feet. Sometimes we need these intimate times within our communities. As we concluded our service last night and our guest muscian of the night, Nate, started singing Open the Eyes of my Heart Lord. I could not help but think how fitting that sound was because that night my eyes/heart needed to be opened and when they were, I saw feet and they were such beautiful feet.

Reflect upon the intimate nature of footwashing and hopefully one day soon you will be able to participate in a footwashing.

Email Encouragement

Sometime's an e-mail from someone you only barely met can be a good push to get through a day. I got an e-mail from Bart Campolo who I have mentioned in some previous posts after I heard him speak the Youth Retreat here in Illinois. He doesn't really know me at all but we have had some similar experiences and we can encourage one another through that. His e-mail wasn't long, but it didn't need to be. I am thankful for people and communities that are trying hard to live out the gospel and encouraging each other while they do. In part of the e-mail he said this:

It sounds like you’re doing great stuff, but I hope you have a community there to support you in doing it. This people loving stuff is really a team sport. On that same note, I hope you will feel free to contact me again if there is ever some way I can be helpful to you. I don’t know everything, but I know lots of good people all over the place who are into this kind of lifestyle and eager to encourage you newbies!

It made me pause and think about the community I have and if I want more in community. I have been blessed with some great friends here in Illinois that are there to listen to my endless stories about my kids, or there to just watch a movie when I need a break from it all, there to have deep conversations or just silly ones to have a good laugh. Then I have my US-2 Missionary community who are all going through what I am, but just all over the country. They are always there to talk and even when it might be months and months inbetween phone convo's it seems like no time has passed.

I do sometimes feel that I seek more in a community...
Communities like The Simple Way, The Rutba House, other monastic communities and the community Bart lives in...
They appeal to me...
I'm still pondering this...

The Zoo: No Koala's, touching sharks, and Brutus the Walrus

I have been saying I would post a blog entry on my trip to Indianapolis 2 weeks ago, and I am just now getting around to it! It was a really fun day trip with my friends Erin and Eric. We had fun learning about Indiana through our brochures from the Welcome Center. I was amazed, Indiana sound like a cool state. Indianapolis is a cool city, my favorite part was Mass Ave. which is a trendy area with awesome shops, cool wine stores, chocolate store, and a cool kids shop. It was a beautiful day in Indy:)

I did want to point out that the Zoo was fun, but I was saddened by 2 things...

1. They falsely advertised in their brochures that there would be a Koala Exhibit. There were NO Koala's. Instead the new exhibit that was not open yet is going to be the Komono Dragon. I would rather see a Koala. Luckily there were Koala masks in the gift shop so I got to pretend I was a Koala.

2. The dolphin show was sold out. And all I wanted to do was see the freakin dolphins because I LOVE Dolphins. I used to want to be a marine biologist. My dream is to swim with dolphins. Instead we had to watch the dolphins do their show from below while we were in the viewing area. It wasn't too bad but I was still disappointed. But I did get to pet a shark, and that was cool.

Besides those 2 things I had a lovely day hanging out with friends, eating a yummy dinner, walking around a cool city, and enjoying the warmth of a rare warm weekend!

Speaking up

Some of you might disagree with me on this post, that's ok, I will listen to your opinions as well, I welcome discussion, but here are mine. Back in July I wrote a post about needing to speak up for what is right. I had visited a church in Brooklyn that was an open accepting & affirming United Methodist Church. As all of us US-2's walked into that church and worshiped there that night, I know we felt it was a church that was accepting of all people. Before we even entered there was no doubt that they were accepting people because of their sign that was right beside the entrance, in Large font...

Hand in Hand, we the people of Park Slope United Methodist Church - black and white, straight and gay, old and young, rich and poor - unite as a loving community in covenant with God and the Creation. Summoned by our faith in Jesus Christ, we commit ourselves to the humanization of urban life and to physical and spiritual growth." -- The PSUMC Creed

I wish this was every church's creed. But sadly it is not. We still have so far to go with human & civil rights on the spectrum of Gay (GBLTQ) Rights and also with Race, religion, ethnicity, etc... I watched the movie MILK tonight about Gay Rights Activist Harvey Milk and his fight to not get Prop 6 (a law to not allow Homosexuals and Homosexual Allies to teach in schools or be in other forms of work associated with the government) Passed. He succeeded right before he was assassinated. He said these words that stick with you,Harvey Milk: All men are created equal. No matter how hard you try, you can never erase those words.

Now many years later, California faces Prop 8. One more obstacle for the gay community. And the people that want Prop 8 to pass, are the Christians. Some say, "fundamentalist Christians"...but sadly it's not just the fundamentalists that are at fault, it is all Christians. We should not be standing in the way of civil rights. Jesus, the one we all claim to follow, I honestly believe would NOT be standing in the way of civil rights for homosexuals. You might disagree with me and you are free to your opinion. But the Jesus that I follow and am trying to serve each day would have wanted rights for Gays and people of all sexual orientations and backgrounds. Jesus loved us all, he does love us all. There is no way I can look into the eyes of some of my kids that I work with that have come to me and told me they are struggling with their sexual orientation and tell them they are going to hell or might need to get "fixed". There is no way I will tell them that they can never act on it, because who is to put defining lines around who you can and cannot love. There is no way I can look my friends that have come out to me over the years in the eyes and tell them that I will not be their friends because they are gay or lesbian. And I choose to think that I will end up in a heaven where they are there too, because I know that the God I worship loves all his children. My friends that have come out to me, tell me I am rare in my thinking. But honestly I think there are a lot more allies for the gay community out there with in the Christian community, but people are just afraid to speak up.

To know that not too many years ago, if Prop 6 could have passed in California, and I had become a teacher...and considering that I am an ally to the homosexual community, I would not have a job. That scares me! We might think we have come a long way, but we are still so far from truly accepting all those around us.

Harvey Milk, was an amazing activist, he was passionate about getting rights for his community that he loved so dearly. He said that if everyone could just know 1 person that was gay, that they would not vote for Prop 6. I wonder if the same would be the case for Prop 8? I wonder if the same would be for any civil rights and human rights issue. And not just know a person in passing but truly know someone you care for.

As the Christian community, have we truly gotten to know ALL of our neighbors? I don't think so. Jesus' commandment was to LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF. Do we truly take that to heart? If we truly loved ALL of our neighbors as much as we love ourselves, then we would be living in a very different world. Maybe the problem is we don't love ourselves. I did have one of my kids tell me the other day that she has a hard time loving herself, and that is why she has a hard time loving and being nice to her peers. I don't think she knew how profound she was. Love yourself, then go out and love your neighbors. As the old Christian song goes:

"They will know we are Christians by our love, by our love, they will know we are Christians by our love"

Where is our love? Do others know Christians by their love?

I have a dream too, like Martin Luther King Jr. did, like Abe Lincoln did, and like Harvey Milk did. I have a dream that one day our kids will not feel judged by Christians on the basis of their ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion, political preference, or anything else. I have a dream that kids and people all over the world will feel only love from Christians. It's a big dream, a dream I might never see, but without hope that, that dream will come true one day, I would not be here writing this tonight.